Desperate Measures

The Cheat Meal That Became a Cheat Day

What was I thinking?  I'm a binger.  I am incapable of moderation.  I don't do half measures!

Good grief.  So, last night, I hosted a small advanced birthday dinner for myself and invited my family and my two high school besties.  I ordered a whole roasted pig and some Greek salads.  Very healthy, very Paleo.  Except that we needed another dish so my mom made spaghetti bolognese.  I LOVE SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE.  And it was my Cheat Meal, right?

(Internet file photo.)

I ignored the roasted pig and the Greek salads and ate only the spaghetti bolognese.   A lot of spaghetti bolognese.  And I may have had some, gulp, soda.  My girlfriends brought some ice cream so I ate all of that too.  Then my mom brought out some chocolates, and at this point, the song that was playing in my head was "It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To".

 

I ate my weight in sugar.

All glycogen levels sufficiently restored to overflowing, Captain!

Good god.  I have enough fuel to power me into the next century.

And, to make matters worse, I've decided to extend last night's Cheat Meal into a Cheat Day and have continued eating to today.  (There are still some leftover spaghetti and ice cream!)

If I was at 52.8 kilos yesterday, I was at 53.3 today.  Not bad.  And I actually thought I looked better today.  Was very happy with my weight.  Tomorrow, might be another story, but I plan to stop eating at 6 PM.  Like that's going to make a difference, considering what I can pack into myself in the next two hours.

I need help.

CrossFit, 26 April 2013, 12:30 PM (And An Update on the Ketosis Experiment)

Fuck me.  There was a camera crew at the box.

No matter how much of a wuss I am, when I work out, I mean business.  No one can even talk to me when I do my 20 laps in Siargao.  When I work out in Manila, I wear a bandana to keep the hair away from my face.  I wear the most comfortable clothes I can find, even if that means shirts that are falling apart and ratty, old shorts.  In other words, I  I look like shit.  I never understood those girls who show up at gyms wearing make-up and pearls.

Sometimes, it occurs to me that I should make a bit of an effort, especially when I found out that an ex-fling was going to the same gym I used to work out at, or when I started getting to know my fellow CrossFitters.  In the end though, I really can't be bothered.  I'll end up looking like shit anyway.

But when I look like shit, the last thing I want is have my picture taken or a have a video crew around.  Especially when I'm still hacking away like I'm trying to exorcise a demon from my throat.

Yeah, that cough is still there.  It's disgusting.  It's a dry cough that sounds like it shouldn't be.  And it's now made the list of "Things That Keep Me Up At Night".

Ah, well.  "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Demille..."

It's a good thing today's WOD wasn't so bad.

A.  15 minutes, front squats, 1 x 5, work to a heavy single.  (My max was 70 lbs.)
B.  10 minutes, every minute on the minute, 1 clean and jerk.  (My max was 55 lbs.)

I'm glad that the WOD today was about strength, and not cardio.  Exactly what I need on ketosis.  Because I really shouldn't lose any more weight.  The key to rapid weight loss?  Ketosis and cardio, CrossFit-style.

Let's see... I didn't weigh myself on the first day because I was too afraid to, but my guess was that it was somewhere around 55 to 56 kilos.  By the next day, I was at 54-something.  Wednesday, 53-something.  Yesterday, I was at 52.8.  (That was after only two CrossFit sessions and one salsa lesson!)  I've been dropping almost a kilo a day!  Well, except for today (- I'm back to 53-something), because I had a big Chinese meal last night that may have featured some battered stuff and some sugar or honey or some such similar evil in the food.  But 53-something is fine with me.  Now, all I have to do is maintain it.

Like that's the easiest thing to do in the world.

Well, I need to add more carbs to my diet, for sure, and that would be in the form of vegetables.  I certainly don't want to stress about every bit of tomato or onion that makes its way into my food.  I'd like to hold off on fruit for as long as I can, but I'm not sure if I can for long.  That mango tonight looked really good...  I really should start having at least a sliver of it a day.

I have yet to read if Cheat Meals/Days are recommended on ketosis.  If they are, I'm looking at Sunday dinner.  Unless the battered stuff at last night's dinner is considered a cheat.  Oh, and I had spring rolls tonight.  Doh!  I really must stay away from Chinese food...

Last Week in Siargao

I should have known not to expect anything from myself this weekend.

I was pretty active during the week though.  I did the Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday workouts of this:

Additionally, I did this:

• Monday:  swim (20 laps)
• Tuesday:  run (4 km, 32:31), swim (20 laps)
• Thursday:  run (4 km, 35:05), swim (20 laps)
• Friday:  run (4 km, 31:16), swim (20 laps)

Rest days:  Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday.  Amen.

I thought I had behaved on my diet but forgot that I had cake.  A whole lot of cake.  On more than one occasion.  Fuck it.  I'm on a break.  Will start again tomorrow.

Derailed and Off the Rails

I've lost the plot.

Well, I lost it a while back, didn't I?  Even before I left Siargao, everyday had become a cheat day, and Paleo became more the exception than the rule.

I continued to cheat in Manila.  I figured, for as long as I stayed away from wheat, I was fine.

And then I was supposed to have dinner with Stephen at the new casino resort, Solaire.  Except that he said he'd meet me at Chili's first.  Of all the places in Manila, he had to choose the one to which I have a Pavlovian response.  You say "Chili's", I say "sliders".  So for the first time in too long, I had - eek! - wheat/gluten in the form of Chili's "Big Mouth Burger Bites".  I had two sliders.  And onion rings.  And calamares.  In between mouthfulls, I sighed out loud, "The best things in life are breaded or battered, and deep fried."  Stephen agreed.  We never made it to Solaire.

I had fallen so far from grace, I thought I might as well sink to the lowest depths that I possibly could.  That would be Chili's "deep fried cheesecake".  It was a crock of shit.  Totally not worth the calories.

Eek!  Check out what's No. 4 on Men's Health's list of 20 New Worst Foods in America.  Doh!  (Internet file photo.)

That was yesterday.

I continued the downward spiral today.

FYI, Magnum's chocolate strawberry?  YUM.  (I'm convinced the white chocolate version is better and I'm still kicking myself for failing to have one in Australia.)  And, boy, did I miss those cheese waffles.  And, while I was at the airport, waiting to board my flight for Cebu, I ordered a ham and cheese panini, opened it up, emptied a packet of crisps into it, crushed the sandwich back together and chomped on it like a grade schooler.  I got a few strange stares.

Oh, big find at the old Manila domestic terminal (- I now fly from Manila to Cebu with Tiger Air/SEAIR):  white chocolate Reese's peanut butter mini cups.  Pricey at P330, but it did keep me from buying some Cheetos.

Stick 'em in the freezer and they're even better.  Nicolas is now onto them too, goddamit.  (Internet file photo.)

I wish I could tell you that I've been working out but, in the five days that I could have gone to CrossFit, I only made it to two.  I missed the other two days because I hadn't had enough sleep, was foggy from alcohol and had lungs full of nicotine.  Burpees were not an option.  The other day, the heat had melted me onto the bed and I couldn't peel myself off it.  It was a weekend and there was no way I was going to run around a carpark in that heat.

I told you I lost the plot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I phoned my girl in Siargao today and instructed her to leave me out of lunchtime meals and that I would follow the 1 to 7 PM schedule that I was keeping before.  Nicolas and I are back on the island tomorrow for some social commitments and I will be staying all the way till the 21st, while he will be returning to Cebu on the 15th, then is back again in Siargao on the 17th and then back to Cebu on the 19th.  What can I say?  He has social commitments everywhere.

I promise I will be good again.  But that's tomorrow, when we get to the island.  I still have a few more hours till then.  In the meantime, the white choc p/b cups in the freezer are in need of my attention.  And I'm thinking... the leftover Chinese fried rice will go very well with a fried egg for breakfast.  And Tinderbox does a better ham and cheese panini at the Mactan Airport than Seattle's Best at the old Manila domesic terminal.

I've gone completely mad, haven't I?

FYI, I don't feel too well.  Not at all.  I don't want to get into the details of it but, no, I don't recommend you try this at home, folks.  I do realize that I am doing myself more harm than good but spare me the lectures and let's just chalk this up to temporary insanity, okay?  All we be right in the world again in a few hours.

The Week in Review

The last week in Siargao was a bit rough.  Lots of long nights of much abuse to the body.  I'm still feeling pretty ragged.

If I hardly had any cheat days before, well, I've more than made up for it.  Aside from being constantly hungover, I may also be PMS-ing so suffice it to say that there was no fasting of any kind going on last week.  For the last two days alone, I indulged in one my favorite breakfasts:  spicy Spanish sardines, scrambled eggs - and garlic fried rice.  Holy YUM.  (I'd like another plate, please.)

My favorite brand of Spanish-style sardines.  (Internet file photo.)

So, if I recall correctly, I had rice on, at least, four occasions (- there could have been more), rice flour in the form of lumpia (spring roll) wrappers on one occasion, and sugar in calamansi juice and in two servings of avocado chia pudding.  Still no wheat or gluten.

I know I said I was taking a break from swimming on Monday but I took it on Tuesday instead, then resumed swimming everyday after that, including today.  I even managed a run last Thursday (4 km, 33:39).

Today, I am in Cebu.  Tomorrow, I'll be in Manila.  Right now, all I want to do is sleep.  And I want a block of dark chocolate to sit on my face.  I am totally PMS-ing.

Two orders for me, please!

Weight, as of 6:30 AM this morning:  54 kilos.

To Wheat or Not to Wheat

I've been doing really well with my Paleo diet.  I haven't really had too many cheat days.  But, as I said before, if I'm going to cheat, I'll do it with dairy or sugar, maybe even - gasp! - rice.  Anything but wheat and gluten.  If the naysayers are to be believed, wheat and gluten are responsible for everything that is wrong with this world, including Justin Bieber.

Except that, I was looking through a food blog recently and it occured to me that wheat (and, by extension, gluten) is responsible for most everything that is good in this world.  That's everything in a bakery, Oreos, cookie dough ice cream, fried chicken, ham and cheese sandwiches, pizza, meat pies, BEER.  It's rather cruel, really.  I've oft repeated the line "The best things in life are illegal, immoral or fattening," and it would be funny, if it weren't so absofuckinglutely true.  For instance, why can't zucchini be addicting?  Why must bitter gourd taste vile?  Why is it the good stuff that's always bad???  (Why, ye cruel gods, why???)

<insert dramabutton here>

Because of this strict no-wheat/gluten rule, I've had to do more research on what alcoholic drinks I can have.

I really don't .

FYI, ALL distilled drinks are gluten-free, unless gluten flavors were added afterwards.  That includes vodka.  Hooray!  Although there have been reports of people claiming sensitivity to alcohol made from grain, technically, it's not supposed to happen.  I'll go with science on this one, thank you.  (Beer is still out because it is brewed and not distilled.  Boo!)

Unfortunately, while most drinks are gluten-free, they are not wheat free.  Here's a list of alcohol made from wheat.  Unfortunately, it includes vodka.  (Noooooo!!!)  But I'd like to think (and I could be wrong here) that the main objection to wheat is gluten so with the gluten component removed, then everything should be back to being hunky dory.  As I said, I could be wrong, but I do love vodka.

And besides...

I have no idea what magazine this is from or if it's true or not - but I believe it!  ;-)

I'm not sure how long I can keep this up.  On one hand, I feel really good.  On the other, I'm going to France, the land of baguettes, croissants and crepes!  How could I possibly resist???

I'll take it one day at a time.

I'm still intermittent fasting but I'm not too strict about it.  I have lunch and dinner with Nicolas when he's here on the weekends.  If I'm hungover, I won't hesitate to ask for a big bacon and scrambled eggs breakfast, as I did before it was even 6 AM this morning.  If I need something sweet, I'll have a banana (or ten).  I don't really need to lose any more weight and am quite happy where I'm at now.

What I really have to do is stop smoking.  Not only because when I smoke, I smoke like a chimney, but also because it keeps me awake.  For instance, yesterday, I had a very long, boozey lunch that turned into 1 AM at a sleazy bar somewhere.  At 3 AM, I was still ordering stuff from Etsy.  (I know.  My credit card is screaming for an intervention.)  By 5:30, I was awake and ready for bacon and eggs.  I've actually been getting more sleep now but, when I've been smoking a lot, I find it difficult to get any decent rest.  Unfortunately, I don't think I'm ready to quit again.  Not just yet.

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Where I'm At

So I'm back in Siargao.  I flew to Cebu last Thursday (March 7) then to Siargao the next day.  I'll be here till April 1.

I've resumed doing my 20 laps (minimum) in the pool everyday.  I've only had one cheat day (which was in Cebu) since resuming Paleo but, for as long as I don't have any wheat, I still consider that a good day.  Although - whoa! - I must confess that I am, once again, back to being extremely sensitive to lactic acid.

I also resumed intermittent fasting last Monday.  Although I've had to revise my schedule.  I now realize that I wasn't really fasting before by taking all those smoothies and juices during my supposed fasting state.  Now my feeding time is from 1 PM to 7 PM so I have six hours to consume all the calories I need in the day (including the smoothies and juices); digestion should be up to 1 AM, and I should be totally food free and consume only water from 1 AM to 1 PM.

I'm struggling a bit with it because I find that, by the time I swim at 5 PM, I'm so full of liquids that I feel like hurling in the pool.  I really prefer working out on an empty stomach.

I know this doesn't have anything to do with anything here.  I just find it funny.  And it kinda goes with the lactose intolerance pic.  ;-)

The great thing about the time though is that I can have lunch at 1 PM and dinner at 6:30 PM, although I must confess that I've only been having one main meal a day, mostly dinner.

Yesterday, I had a big raw food lunch with Susan in the afternoon, then I went biking with her (- I probably did around 6-7 km.; I had to cut my ride short because of the rain) and then I still had my swim at 5 PM.  I only had one smoothie in the afternoon and didn't feel the need for anything else the whole evening.  (I normally try to have two smoothies a day.  One is a green smoothie and the other is that all-natural antioxidant mix* that I get from Cebu.)

I do have a stock of snacks in the refrigerator in case I get hungry.  I have my nuts and berries trail mix.  I have my fried plantains (which are really just unripe cooking bananas, sliced thinly then fried).  I have multiseed crackers.  And, yesterday, there was still some leftover raw pancit.  But I really didn't feel the need to eat anything in the evening.

Now this has absolutely nothing to do with anything in this entire blog.  Although surely you must get the whole "spoiled" and "hog" connection, no?  No?  Whatever, it's funny.  And, no, I'm not smoking anything funny.

What I did feel the need for was a cigarette.  Yes, I'm still social smoking but I was a bit too social in Manila that I was wanting to smoke even when I didn't have any company and, um, may have had a cigarette or two in my bedroom.  (Eek!  Definitely a bad sign!  If I can't be bothered to go outside and don't mind the smell of smoke inside my room and getting on all my clothes and things, then I have problem.)  I was planning on trying to control it here in Siargao - but I brought a whole carton of cigarettes with me anyway.  So far, I've only smoked twice.  At dinner at Kalinaw Resort on Friday (which was when we arrived) and during the soft reopening of Nine Bar last Saturday.  But, today, I'll be in the company of smokers and, well, the reason why I'm typing this now is to keep me from getting started on a pack already.

Why can't I quit you?

Since I've started doing IF properly, which was only last Monday, I've already lost all the weight I wanted to lose.  I started at around 54.75 kilos (according to the scale here) and now I'm at 53.5.  I really should try to maintain that now and not lose any more weight because then I'll look too gaunt, which I don't really want.

Energy levels are fine.  I'm actually thinking of adding kettlebells and TRX to my daily routine but, yeah, so far, I'm just thinking about it.  I don't think there's a cure for laziness yet.

***

*Organic Herbal Tonic, available through Healing Present Nature & Wellness Farm.  Contents:  A blend of organic turmeric, ginger, basil, oregano, lemongrass, guyabano leaves, passion fruit and calamansi.  It's a vile concoction, so I have it blended with fruit.  It comes in a medium-sized jar but a small amount goes a long way, so it's best if you transfer the contents into smaller jars and freeze the ones you're not using.

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Happy Trails

After all the failed starts, I quietly - but finally - got back to doing Paleo again last week.  And, apart from the alcohol (- although I've only been having either red wine, or tequila and soda water), I've actually been very strict about it.

• Starting weight, Feb. 25:  55.4 kilos
• Weight, as of Mar. 3, 8:30 AM:  54.8 kilos

Now that I'm back on Paleo, that means I've also resumed looking for some proper trail mix.

Last January, a friend of mine suggested that I check out the nuts and berries available at baking supplies stores.  She drove me to Sweet Craft in Pasig, along Boni Avenue, and I found the prices quite reasonable.  I spent P144 more than what I would have, had I gone all the way to The Nut Store in Divisoria, which isn't bad at all in the grand scheme of things.  It saved me the time, money and aggravation of going to Divisoria.

Following are Sweet Craft's prices.  The ones contained in parentheses are The Nut Store's.

• whole almonds (P110) P150
• hazel nuts (P190) P250
•  pistachio kernels (P255) P290
• dried cranberries (P150) P161.50
• blueberries (P300) P297.50

Not so bad, no?  Strange too that their blueberries are slightly cheaper... 

Last week, at Greenbelt 1, I found a merchant in one of those temporary kiosks in the middle of the mall, selling a good mixed-nuts-and-berries trail mix in resealable pouches.  They don't contain peanuts, or any added salt or sugar.  It's called the "premium" mix and sells for P450.  They also have one that's just mixed berries (P400).

(Internet file photo.)

I can't do the math but they're most likely more expensive than Sweet Craft and The Nut Store, but if you haven't got the time to go to a baking supplies store then you might want to call these trail mix makers.  There's no brand name on the pouches but there are telephone numbers.

• Landline:  +63-2-343-0845
• Mobile:  +63-917-815-7650

A word of advice though:  Even if these are healthy snacks, you don't want to go overboard with your nut consumption.  I should know.  The last time I had all these nuts lying around, my uric acid levels spiked!

The Bottomless Pit

As soon as I put the last blog post to bed, I felt a huge gaping hole in my stomach.  Read in it what you will, all I know is that I had to eat.  I turned the refrigerators and freezers inside and out looking for anything I could eat.  I even tried to order some cakes.  And then I had to stop because, although I was still hungry, it was all getting a little bit ridiculous.

<cut to me sitting amid a pile of Sneakers and Dilly Bar wrappers>

And then I met Stephen for lunch the next day.  We were early.  Raffy hadn't arrived.  I suggested gyozas while waiting.  Stephen suggested beer.

<groan>

I had already known lunch wasn't going to be Paleo but I had not factored in beer.  I hesitated for half a second then ordered two Pale Pilsens.  Three or four beers each later, Stephen and I continued way after Raffy had left, with wine and martinis.  (Stephen to me, very emphatically: "No, you're not working out this afternoon.")

Stephen seemed to share the same insatiable appetite that was consuming me.  Everywhere we went, not only did we order alcohol, we also kept ordering food.  I wish I could say we capped off our very long and very expensive lunch with a movie and a pizza, but I still raided our friend's kitchen afterwards.

Even when I got home at midnight, I felt like I could still eat, but stopped myself and forced myself to sleep.  I awoke around 4 AM, with the pit in my belly still growling, but also with the strange sensation of wanting to hurl at the same time.

I'm PMSing, aren't I?

Pfft.  Forget Paleo.  While I really, really need to get back to it, especially since I've just been reading about the dangers of wheat and sugar, it really is rather hopeless right now, when all I can think of are Kitchen's Best's cakes.  I'll start again when I'm not completely off my rocker and I don't have this chasm threatening to rip open my gut.

I've decreed Tuesday my rest day.  And maybe Sunday.  Depending on how Saturday night goes.

Yes, I made it to CrossFit today.  WOD was 10 minutes, on every minute:

• 10 kettlebell swings (- I used the 12-kilo kettlebell.)
• 5 burpees

I finished each round consistently at around 38 seconds into the minute.

One Week Down

Two and a half more to go.  (I have to discontinue my current CrossFit/barre3 program since I'll be leaving for Siargao again.)

So far, I've been going to the 12:30 CrossFit sessions (MWF) and the 12/1 PM barre classes (Sa/TTh although, last week, I only went Thursday and Saturday.)  I had massages on Tuesday and Sunday.

Because I like to train on an empty stomach, this means that the earliest I can get food into me is after 1 PM, depending on what time the CrossFit sessions end.  So I am still sortakinda doing intermittent fasting.

Paleo?  Hmmm...  I can only say that I'm trying...  I do fail rather spectacularly when I am out.  But I have lost one kilo!  Oh joy!  Weight was 55.2 kg. as of this morning.  So at least something is working.

Today's WOD was: 

I piled on 30-lb. plates onto the 25-lb. bar, for a total of 85 lbs. for my deadlift.  And I did ring rows instead of pull-ups.

 

Ring rows.

I didn't finish and only got as far as 21 ring rows in the third round.

Will do the evening barre3 tomorrow since two of my favorite boys are in town for a limited time and we've already made a date for lunch.  At a ramen house too.  There is nothing that a caveman - or cave woman - can eat at a ramen house.  Will get back on Paleo for dinner.