I heard my first Christmas carol whilst sitting at the HMO's waiting room in Cebu last week.
That was creepy.
While it is true that all songs by Jose Marie Chan creep me out, isn't it March? How can we be half way through September when it was January only a few months ago? What happened to June and July???
<cue creepy music from "The Twilight Zone">
Hmm... Well, with the realization that the last quarter of the year is nigh upon us (and I haven't given a thought to Christmas, let alone Christmas shopping), comes the added realization that I have successfully strung together a continuous link of Cheat Days to a form a - gasp! A Cheat Year. Goodfreakingod. Surely, there must be a prize for that kind of a fuck-up.
Er... Is there a rewind on this thing? I kinda missed the middle part of the year. Wasn't paying attention. ... Could I please speak to the manager? I'd like to do it over again, please.
Of course, I know that had I not feasted like a doped up famine victim let loose on a buffet table the whole year, I might have achieved my fitness (read: vanity) goals by now. Because, even if I have been eating my weight in sugar, I'm actually in better shape now than I was when I was just skinny. Or so I'd like to think. Had I behaved even half the time I was messing about... Ack! I don't want to think about it.
Because, no, I couldn't possibly be content with just one or two servings of ice cream, could I? I'll take the whole tub, thankyouverymuch. Surely, I can do better than half a pizza! Let's make that a whole large-sized pepperoni thin crust - with extra cheese, please. Wine? I only drink by the bottle. No half measures here. I only do things to excess.
Since I've been back in Siargao, however, which was only two days ago, I've cut out rice, bread and pasta, but have still had potatoes and sweets (- more on that later); but I finally resumed working out and already lost the two kilos that I gained in Cebu. (Yes, I went nuts during the four days that I was there, but bear in mind that I also had zero exercise for ten days.)
One of my favorite lines from "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" was spoken by the 36-year old prostitute, Ybón: When you're sixteen a body like this is free; when you're forty - pffft! - it's a full time occupation!
I credit Jillian Michaels' workout videos for keeping me from turning into a blimp. Well, that and the swimming. I'm not too sure if the kettlebell swings help but I like to think that I'm achieving something (even if it is close to nothing) by lifting anything heavier than three-kilos.
Someone sent this message to my Facebook inbox recently regarding Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred:
"She's tough, but you can see results very fast. I started with her DVD four months after I had my baby, then stopped after two weeks because of my knees and jumping jacks. Then I started again without the jumping jacks, and I could really see and feel the difference in the stomach area."
I must say that I had my doubts when I started but, now, while I am dreading what Level 3 might be like, I'm more than curious to see what 30 days under Jillian Michaels' tutelage will reap.
Except that I can't seem to get there, can I? There's always something... If I'm not traveling somewhere, I'm getting sick. Or getting sidetracked by beer and hangovers.
I've restarted Level 1 but, since I am leaving for Manila for nine days this Friday, I'm just doing it for the sake of doing something. But if I can put in a good effort even while I'm away, maybe I can finally level up when I get back to Siargao. I wouldn't put any money on it, but who knows?
I wish I could tell you that I'm wising up and putting an end to my mad feeding frenzy, but I have several dinners already lined up in Manila that promise to be epic. I've also ordered stuff from Dial K for Kitchen (- their ultra-buttery polvoron) and Aleth's Kitchen (- I've heard good things about her chocolate chip cookies and ordered an assorted bag for myself), and I must confess that I am currently contemplating calling out for cake here in Siargao.
Maybe when I get back from Manila?
***
I went to four groceries in Cebu to try to find those dark and white chocolate-dipped dried mangoes by R&M but couldn't find them anywhere but the airport. What I did find was Philippine Brand's dark chocolate version. They come in small 65 g. packs, but they're not bad at all. They're actually quite good. And if I don't find them in Manila, I'm going to have to get the maid in Cebu to buy me a few packs to send through Nicolas for when I return to Siargao.
Or not.
Har.
Another find, again at District 32 at the Mactan Airport, is Homemade Sweets' baclava (0917-633-6733). I was swooning while eating it at the airport. I just texted that number and it turned out to be attached to somebody already on my contact list. If the world is small, Cebu is even smaller. I must congratulate her on her baclavas and order a few tubs.
Or, again, not.
I am such a fake.
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