Desperate Measures

A New Month, A New Start (Well, Sort Of...)

I've decided to TRY to get back to being healthy this April.    Which means a return to a vegetarian version of the Paleo lifestyle for the first month, with the following exceptions:

• when entertaining at home
• when dining out

I figured that I entertain/dine out frequently enough in a week to meet my body's protein requirements.  Not that I would have any idea what that would be, but I do know that I cannot live on vegetables alone.

Re drinking, I'm hoping to limit my choices to the acceptable Paleo cheats of red wine and tequila/vodka sodas.  Which would be a challenge at the jungle discos.  Have yet to work that one out...  (Hip flask?)

And, hopefully, I will be nicotine-free this month.

If all of this sounds vague and non-committal, it's because, well, it's April 1st and who's going to take me seriously on April Fool's Day?  Or on any other day for that matter but more so today?  And it is a Tuesday, which is neither here nor there in a week.  Nobody starts anything on a Tuesday.  Wednesday is so much more definitive.

And there are - were - three cupcakes in the fridge that I had to finish.  Gaaah!  But I am finally out of chocolates and sweets, which means that I can be serious about this tomorrow.

<groan>

Well, I should be stepping up the exercise too and if the bike seat on my new bike is replaced with the old, reliable, padded one from my old bike this afternoon, then I'll be biking into town before my afternoon swim.  And I already set an appointment with Dominic, the taekwondo instructor, to restart my training early tomorrow morning.  And I've hung my TRX to the bathroom door, even if I'm not sure what to do with it...

So I am sortakinda serious about this.  Sortakinda.

Siargao Status Update

Yeah, so while Nicolas and I were supposed to be juicing, I would sneak off and raid my chocolate stash or cook up some fried rice with Spam.  He would also raid my chocolate stash or ask the maid to fry up some chorizos and eggs.

When we had guests over, we ate.  When it was poker night, we ate.  When we were hungover, we ate.

So we weren't really fasting.  While we were drinking up a lot of vegetables and fruits, we were also eating a lot of junk that we normally wouldn't have been eating had we not been trying to fast.

I hardly exercised too.  These are the days that I went swimming:

• Last week:  Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday
• This week:  Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday

I've been incredibly lazy.

The truth is that I'm horizontal most of the time and only ever really get up when there is somewhere else I have to be.  

Yesterday was insanely busy:

At noon, there was a children's party.  Then there was a wine tasting at Sagana.  And then it was the re-opening of Bones' Sports Bar at his new location.  Which, of course, ended with pitchers of Jungle Juice and wild dancing at Tattoo, the jungle disco.

I really need to detox.  I don't want to see another lechon for a long time.  (There were four this week.)  And I just begged off from a party tonight because there's another big one tomorrow night.  I can't believe I'm saying this but I want to stop drinking for a while.  And I really want to stop smoking already.

The Goa Diaries (Part 6)

Thursday, 20 February

Water consumption:  6.4 liters of water + half a beer + one third of a bottle of red in 2.5 days.

Miwa came over to the guesthouse's restaurant to borrow my computer and use the WiFi.  While she was busy, I ordered some naan and had more of the leftover cheese.  Afterwards, we went to the school to practice some of the advanced massage moves.

I had lunch back at the guesthouse:  a grilled chicken sandwich with cheese.  

At 5:30, I returned to the school to massage Calvin, the school's manager.  Calvin's a pretty big guy with a muscular back.  Although he wrote kind words in my massage guestbook, I'm pretty sure he was just being nice and didn't feel a thing.

The massage drained me and I was going to skip dinner, but when I went to the restaurant in the evening to upload some photos (- I can get the WiFi signal in my room but it's much stronger and faster at the restaurant), I found some friends there.  I ended up joining them for dinner.  I had the homestyle chicken curry with basmati rice and had some of my friends' paratha and poori.  And a bottle of King's beer, which is a hell of a lot better than Kingfisher.

Then I ordered some fruits in cream.

I CAN'T STOP EATING.  Help!

Friday, 21 February 

I finally went to the beach to work on my tan.  I found a nice stretch that is quiet even during midday.

Then I walked along the shore to find Sublime.  I had heard a lot of rave reviews about the restaurant and was dying to try it.  I hoped that, on Monica's last night, we would go there for dinner but Urja said she didn't like their food so we ended up at La Plage again.  Urja's was the first negative comment I had heard about Sublime.  I sooooo wanted to prover her wrong - and to find that there was finally another restaurant that was on par, if not better than La Plage.

The view from my table at Sublime.

Sadly, Urja was right.

The menu looked promising.  I had the vertical pear salad to start.  Pork belly for my main course.  Pork belly!  I can't tell you how excited I was to finally have pork again.  And then the chocolate "bon bons" for dessert.  

The food came out looking wonderful.  I took a lot of photos.  Unfortunately, they didn't taste as good as they looked.

"Vertical pear salad with walnut, blue cheese, organic Tamil Nadu forest honey and field greens."

The pear was bland.  I'm not sure what those slivers were but they weren't all walnuts.  They tasted very starchy.  (- Am guessing potatoes or bread crumbs?  If they were walnuts then they were stale and chopped too finely.)

"Crispy pork belly with sweet and white potato rosti, spinach and orange-mandarin sauce."

The pork was paired with spinach and rosti potatoes, none of which went well together.  In the end, I didn't even want to finish the pork - and you know how much I love pork.

"Filo pastry bon bons with vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce and toasted almonds."

The dessert was the best part of the meal and, although it was good, it wasn't outstanding.  Chocolate is chocolate and this was just chocolate in filo pastry.

It was a very unsatisfying meal.  For almost 1000 rupees, I expected more.  Maybe the restaurant should consider a change of name.  You can't name a restaurant "Sublime" without creating expectations that may be too lofty to live up to.

The service wasn't very good either.  There were only two tables occupied, mine included, and I had to stand up every time I wanted to get a waiter's attention.  

At 3:30, I went to the school to massage Chetan.  When the massage was almost over, I straightened up to change my position and must have pulled a muscle in my back.  Every movement hurt.  I was able to finish the massage but canceled my appointments for the following days.  

I wonder if you've noticed that I've stopped doing jumping jacks, but now I have a legitimate excuse not to do them.

Popped half a Xanax to sleep.

Saturday, 22 February

I thought I would spend the next few days bedridden, living off pain killers and water but, alas, it was not to be.  My PMS cannot be denied.

For breakfast, I ordered a tomato, mushroom, and cheese sandwich and asked them to bring it to my room.

Then I walked - very slowly - to the store to get some water.  (5 liters in two days, plus one beer.)  I can tell you that it isn't fun lugging a 5-liter water bottle around when your back feels like it wants to snap in two.

By the time I returned to my room, my breakfast was ready.  I ate it while watching episodes of "Revenge".  A few episodes in, a craving for yoghurt and honey kicked in.  I tried to ignore it but it wouldn't go away.  Apparently, my cravings are more powerful than any back pain.

I walked to Esperanto Cafe and had muesli with curd and fruits (too many fruits, not enough muesli and curd!), followed by another brownie with nuts and chocolate sauce. 

At 2:30, Lua called.  They were at one of the shacks nearby.  Did I want to join them for lunch?

Of course, I did.  I had the fish thali with extra fish, and a cup of curd.

That night, I thought Chetan's friend, Pawas, was DJing at Shanti.  It turned out that he was actually cooking for their restaurant and had prepared a special menu.

More food?  Who was I to say no? 

With two glasses of wine (- I had 2.5!), I thought the meal was reasonably priced at 1000 rupees.

After dinner, there was talk of going to a club, but I didn't want to push my luck with my back so I did a quick Cinderella and left before everyone.

Sunday, 23 February

At 11 AM, I went back to Satpurush, the thali shack, only to find out that they open at 12:30 PM.  Right.  What to do?  I remembered the carrot cake at Cafe Delicieux.  Maybe enough time had gone by to erase the memory of those two carrot cakes (one carrot cake too many) in my recent past…

On my way to Cafe Delicieux, I passed by a clothes shop.  Shopping before breakfast?  Why not?  I ended up with a lovely summer dress.

The carrot cake turned out to be delicious.  It wasn't their best but it was still yummy.  I ordered two.  DOH!  (I will never eat carrot cake again… she lied to herself again.)

I texted Aless and Lua to find out if they wanted to listen to music and watch the sunset at Bardo.  While waiting for their reply, Kat sent me a message to meet her at Bardo at 3 PM.  I wore my new summer dress, only to find that Bardo wasn't having some sunset session by the beach but a full-on electronica afternoon dance party.  I went back to the guesthouse and changed quickly to more appropriate clubbing clothes.

Cover charge was 500 rs. for women and 1000 rs. for men.  Drinks not included.  Bit steep, no?!

Dancer at Bardo.

With enough alcohol, I forgot all about my back pain and danced until they pulled the plug on the music at - 8 PM???  Seriously?!  I was told that the party was moved indoors but, after having danced for almost four hours straight, again, I had my back to consider.

I went back to the guesthouse and finished season 1 of "Revenge", and watched the first episode of season two.

Monday, 24 February

At exactly 12:30, I went back to Satpurush.  This time, I knew exactly what to order:  the vegetable thali (because the owner didn't seem to mind dishing out free seconds of veggies and rice) and an extra side order of fish.  With a cup of curd, a bargain at 170 rupees!

On my way back to the guesthouse, I got myself an ice cream for 25 rupees.

A few hours later, Lua called.  They were at a restaurant a few doors from my guesthouse.  I went to say hello.  They were at a long table with the friends of Chetan whom I had met at the dinner at Shanti.  I sat with them for a while but managed to refrain from ordering anything.  (I've decided to try to limit my meals to once a day again.)

Back in the room, the sugar craving kicked in.  And then I ran out of water.  As a compromise, I bought myself a very tiny piece of dark chocolate while I was getting water.  (6.5 liters and a lot of alcohol, mostly vodka, in 2.5 days.)

I finally got my period.  I'm hoping that this will end the crazy cravings but, somehow, I'm sure it won't.

Tuesday, 25 February

The pain in my back is still there but it's not as bad as it was so I've started arranging appointments for massage again.  Today, I had Sagar, a friend of Chetan's, at 11 AM.  I took a pain killer and sprayed my back with this mentholated spray that the guesthouse owner lent me.  Big mistake.  While the spray was initially cool on my back, soon after, it started to heat up.  I was dripping sweat all over poor Sagar.

I don't think I've managed to do the entire massage without forgetting something.  They're usually minor things and the massage still goes on smoothly, but I'm hoping that, before I leave India, I get enough practice so that my hands will know the massage sequence well enough not to forget anything.

After the massage, I went to have some fruit with Chetan's massage class (- Aless and Lua are taking his course).  Funny.  There's another woman there whom I met at Urja's class eight years ago.  While we were catching up over sliced papaya and bananas, Chetan's friend, Sveta, turned up with vegetable momos (dumplings) so I had to have some of those too.

When their chai break was over, Calvin gave me a lift to Soft Corner Bakery.  It's much further left down the road from the massage school.  I passed it a few times before (on the way to the markets) and was curious about their cakes and pastries.  Since it was unlikely that I would return, I had the following:

1. A chocolate cookie.  (Good.  I would have it again.)
2. A smoked chicken sandwich.  (Nothing special.)
3. A strawberry cheesecake.  (Too gelatin-y for a cheesecake.)

I walked all the way back to the guesthouse.  And now I'm hungry again.  Doh!

It's now 9 PM and I'm being invited to hang out at a friend's guesthouse but I know that, if I get up from this bed and walk out of this room, I'm going to procure some food.  Will stay in and watch the rest of "Revenge" to distract myself.

Sigh...

Quick Update from Goa

I'm sorry I've been incommunicado for more than two weeks.  I've been traveling.  From Mumbai through Kerala, with a brief stop in Bangalore, before finally settling in Goa yesterday.  This will be my home for the next month, give or take a few days, and I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to finally unpack my suitcase.

India...

It's unfortunate that I only think of coming here when I want to do a massage course, when it is such an amazing country and never fails to take my breath away.  Just on the hot and dusty bus from Varkala to Trivandrum, I felt that I was going to burst from happiness at the sheer thrill of being in the midst of all the colorful sights, sounds and smells.  On the cab ride from the airport in Goa to my little guesthouse, I caught myself in the mirror, smiling at nothing in particular, apart from the fact that I am just really, really deliriously happy to be here.

Before I carry on jabbering about how much I love India and then fail to post this, here's a quick report on how I've been faring:

- On the shopping front:  I have been good and have resisted temptation.  Thus far, I've only acquired, apart from the six dresses in Bangkok, a kaftan, two scarves and some cinnamon.  For two weeks in India, that required incredible restraint.  But I've already taken note of the clothing that won't be making it back to the Philippines with me to make space for the shopping I intend to do closer to the end of my trip.

FYI, my guesthouse is surrounded by a lot of cute little boutiques that I have dared not enter, and right beside the massage school is a clothing store called "Future Hippies" that I am avoiding.  Tonight, I am staying away from the Saturday market, but have already made plans to go next week.

- On the drinking front:  Believe it or not, I've been sober for most of this trip.  I had a few drinks when I went out in Mumbai but, on the road, we only went crazy that one night in Alleppey when the three of us finished a bottle of red, a bottle of real whiskey (- not the kind that's sold in government liquor stores in India), and 2/3rds of a bottle of pastis.  And, although I was out drinking every night in Varkala, it was only on our last night, when I started doing double vodkas, that I felt the Evil Twin threatening to make an appearance, so I made a hasty exit and stumbled back to our hotel room.

- On the non-smoking front:  I was traveling with two other former (- naks!) heavy smokers and we did surprisingly well on this trip.  While Stephen initially kept mentioning how a cigarette would have been perfect for a certain moment, ironically, among the three of us, he didn't smoke a single stick.  Alan may have had one or two cigarettes, while I smoked the most, stealing a drag off a cigarette in Alleppey, and then finally giving in and buying two packs of Marlboro Lights at Varkala.  Notice that these were also the times that I was drinking the heaviest and that smokers were present.  In Mumbai, I was drinking with non-smokers so I didn't get the urge to smoke at all.

- On the eating front:  I am fast becoming a scared cow.  Either they will sing my praises as a deity soon or slaughter me as a fattened calf.

I love it that the food in Mumbai and the places that we traveled to in South India weren't entirely vegetarian, which is what turned me off  from Indian food the first time I was here, traveling through mostly veg Rajasthan.  I probably wouldn't have minded so much if they had a wide selection of vegetables but it was mostly potatoes and peas.  And palak paneer.  Here, I haven't given a thought to vegetables because there's mutton and fresh seafood.  In Bangalore, I had a very juicy beef burger, stuffed with cheese and mushrooms, and topped with bacon.  And, this afternoon, I had an excellent fried chicken at a beachside restaurant called Silver Sand.

I also seem to be tolerating spice much better now, so I can't get enough of the curries.  (The Keralan-style fish curry is to die for!)  In Mumbai, I had an awesome samosa on the street that set my mouth on fire but it was so good that I ate it all.  And washed it down with a soda.  Yes, I've been having a lot of soda - and rice - to counter the heat.  Doh!

A 10 rs. samosa from the streets of Mumbai.  It was covered in chili powder and fresh chilis, then wrapped in newspaper.

Here in Goa, let me count the temptations that I have to deal with everyday on the ten-minute walk from my guesthouse to the massage school:

1. There's a cute little hippie cafe just a few doors down.
2. Further along, there' s fruit stand that does juices and shakes.
3. At the mid-point, there's a French patisserie, where I've already had a tarte aux fraises but am still resisting the quiche lorraine.
4. In between all that are tons of Indian places that do Keralan and Goan food.
5. And right before the massage school is a wood fire pizzeria.

As if that wasn't bad enough, my own guesthouse has an excellent restaurant, where I could seriously have three plates of their mutton bolognese easily.  Urgh.

Damn you, food.  Why can't I quit you???

I do have a plan whilst in massage school.  Everyday, we have a ten-minute chai break and are served fruits and chai.  I should just have the fruits and skip the chai (because of the milk), then have a rabid carnivore's lunch when we finish at about 2-3 PM, and not eat anything again - until the next day's chai break.  It's almost 9 PM on the first day of massage class.  So far, so good.  (Even if mango lassis are beckoning everywhere!)

- On the exercise front:  There was a lot of talk, prior to the trip, about doing some sort of exercise.  Maybe 100 jumping jacks a day.  Or 10 burpees.  We did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  Well, we did walk around a lot.  But we definitely ate more than we walked  At one point, Alan pleaded that we do planks but we got distracted and ended up having a very looooooong breakfast.  (Two omelets and three coffees later…)  I tried swimming but it seems that I can't swim without goggles and was already out of breath after one lap!  Yesterday, I was hatching a plan of action for Goa when the instructor announced today that, starting tomorrow, there will be an hour-and-a-half of yoga every morning at the massage school for only 100 rs/session.  Yay!  I am still toying with the idea of doing some sort of workout video after class but being hot and oily after a day of giving and receiving massages can be a deterrant.

Gai's Siargao Food and Exercise Diary

Sunday, 15 December

Another sleepless night.  Had to force myself to get up in the morning.  It was too hot to jog so I took the bike out.  Two kilometers in, I got a flat tire.  I went to the nearest house and asked if I could park my bike in their yard until someone could come and get it.  I tried jogging back but, even with The Prodigy on full blast, it wasn't happening.  I walked.

• Biking, 2 km.
• Walking, 2+ km.

Nicolas was in the room the whole afternoon so I couldn't do the Jillian Michaels workout.  I really didn't want to anyway.

• Swimming, 32 laps, possibly more because I couldn't concentrate and kept losing track of my count and starting over.

Had a bit of chutney with my fish cakes but, apart from that, was still on track with Paleo.  It's a struggle though, knowing that Joanna Ongpin's espresso chip cookies are sitting in the fridge.  Nicolas had two.  Gaah!

Joanna Ongpin-Duarte's espresso chip cookies, available at the Rafik Shawarma/Pizza di Gracia booth at the Saturday Salcedo Market and the Balesin Club gift shop. 

Monday, 16 December

Still no sleep.  It's really difficult to be motivated when all you want to do is sleep.  The thought of moving right now isn't the most appealing.

I think I'm too scared to do Jillian Michaels' "6 Week Six-Pack".  I watched the rest of the video and she goes through the first part without any rest and then does everything again in DOUBLE TIME!  If I was already huffing and puffing at the warm-up, then I'm sure to be dead at the end of this workout.  Maybe I should do parts of the Shred workout again so that I can get back to that level of fitness first...

I've been told that my bike needs a new tire.  I think I need a new bike.

<twiddles thumbs>

Can you tell that I'm procrastinating?

Noo nee noo nee noo nee noo...

I ended up wrapping Christmas gifts for the staff.

I only had breakfast today.  Mr. Delicious applewood smoked bacon and fried eggs.  Yummy.

• Swimming, 32 laps

Tuesday, 17 December (Cheat Day)

Big lunch and some bubbly and cheroot cigars with friends, then a pizza dinner.  Oh, and I finally had some of those cookies.

• Swimming, 32 laps

Wednesday, 18 December

Groggy.  Was kept awake the whole night by a farting dog.  I don't know what he ate but it was nasty.

Asked for a green juice then tried to go back to sleep, but the leftover pizza from Kalinaw was calling me.  I reheated the last four slices and had them for lunch.  So much for Paleo.  ARGH.

I've lost my will to exercise.  It's too hot outside and Jillian Michaels scares me.

• Swimming, 32 laps

Had another green juice for dinner.

Thursday, 19 December

Rainy morning.  Chicken-vegetable soup.  One cookie.

• Swimming, 32 laps

Dinner:  More chicken-vegetable soup plus the leftover mustard-tarragon chicken and green salad from last Tuesday.  Plus one more cookie.

Friday , 20 December

I woke up starving and with a craving for Spam and fried eggs so that's what I had.  I had some green juice with it so my breakfast wasn't entirely unhealthy.

For lunch, I had meatballs soup.  With a bit of rice.  And then I had some dark chocolate.  And a cookie.  And another cookie.  Doh!

Tonight, for the first time in my 14 years in Siargao, I am having dinner at Lalay's, the local barbecue joint at the boulevard.  I only had their food once before, some years back when Nine Bar had a party there for their staff, but that was when they relocated to the side of the road.

• Swimming, 32 laps.  I've begun timing myself and I average about 39 minutes in the pool.

Saturday, 21 December

I can't decide if I am hungover or just lacking sleep or both.  I got home from the jungle disco at about 3:30 AM and was awake and playing with the dog four hours later.

I had a mango when I finally got up and what was left of the meatball soup.  No cookies yet.  (There are only two left.)

Lalay's was nice.  Aussie guy, Brent, was there and we had a good laugh.  I had the pork barbecue and the chicken barbecue and, although I didn't have rice, I did order a plate of fries.  My total food bill came out to P200.  Not bad.

I did drink a lot though.  We started with gin tonics at Lalay's (except that I wasn't drinking the tonic), then we had piñacoladas at Pontus and Frida's, then shitloads of very strong rum cokes at Tattoo.  There were a lot of cigarettes too. In my recollection, I was calm but, by other accounts, not so.  It's a good thing Andrew was there and made sure I got home okay.

The staff is having their Christmas party tonight.  I wonder if I am expected to attend.  I don't think I can remain upright for very long.

There will be no exercise today.

7:30 PM - So I ate a massive dinner with the staff and the workers.  It's a good thing they get shy around me so I left the table as soon as I finished so that they could eat comfortably and speak more freely among themselves.

I'm tempted to have a cookie.  Part of me is saying, "No exercise, no cookie."  And the other part is saying, "You're going to have to eat it all before you leave on Monday anyway so you might as well have it now."

I'll have a cookie.

Oh, joy!  There were still three in the box!  Well, two now...

Sunday, 22 December

Watched a TV series till 4 AM and was awake 3.5 hours later.

Lunch at Maya Villas.  Alon has a short menu out now, but I didn't know this and ordered the hummus, baba ganoush and shawarmas in advance.  Must visit again and try out his burgers.

We started with white wine, then Pale Pilsens - and then this is where my memory gets foggy, but I have pictures on my camera that I do not recall taking.  We ended up at the Christmas party at Palaka Dive Center where I jumped around and danced with the girls while they karaoked.  I vaguely remember eating lechon.  And, judging from my throat this morning, I'm guessing cigarettes were involved.

Watched "South Park" reruns with Liam while I waited for the habal driver to pick me up.

I had a cookie when I got home.

Monday, 23 December

Didn't get to sleep till around 3 AM again and then, because I'm leaving for Cebu in the afternoon, I kept waking up every hour.  Finally gave up trying to sleep at 8 AM to play with the dog.  He knows that I am leaving.  He ignored me the whole week but, this morning, he is unusually needy and overly affectionate.  We'll both be very sad when I leave.

I think I'll have more of the bacon before I start getting ready to leave.  And I might as well finish the last cookie.

I think I'm back on track with my weight, but tomorrow is Christmas Eve and Nicolas will be with me for nine days in Manila and I'm already planning where we are going to eat...

The Stormy Week in Siargao

Monday, 4 November

Gloomy day.  Nicolas is wondering if his flight back to Cebu might get cancelled.  I made him some bacon and cheese sandwiches to bring to the airport in case he has a long wait ahead of him.

I'm trying to be good today.  Will have green juice the whole day, and only have dinner.

Went to the market.

Nicolas called.  The plane circled overhead a few times but it couldn't land and it returned to Cebu.  Of course, as he is telling me this, the weather had cleared and it was bright and sunny.  He rebooked his flight for tomorrow and scheduled an afternoon game of golf with the Frenchies.

There's talk of a very strong typhoon coming this week.

• 30 Day Shred, Level 3
• Swimming:  32 laps

Nicolas and I had a nice, simple dinner of grilled panga (tuna jaw) and guisadong monggo (sauteed mung beans).  With rice, of course.  Doh!

Tuesday, 5 November

Breakfast:  green juice.  Then I went biking to General Luna (GL).  So far, so good.

When I got back, there were fresh crabs being delivered.  Nicolas asked the maid to prepare a crab omelette and the claws for us for lunch.  How could I resist fresh crabs?  I had to have lunch.

After lunch, Nicolas left for the airport.  At the airport, he called me.  Apparently, the typhoon was a serious one.  He made arrangements for me to evacuate when necessary to Villa Maya, Alon and Venus Dassa's hilltop resort, so that we could, at the very least, be safe from the storm surge.

• Biking (10+ km.)
• Shred, Level 3
• Swimming:  32 laps

Had dinner with Liam and Carl at Kalinaw.  It was my third time there in the space of a week since I rediscovered their pizza, particularly the one that they call "Campagnola di Parma".

It's a white pizza with parma ham, tomatoes, basil and parmesan shavings.

I think I'm addicted to it.  We ordered four pizzas and a bottle of wine.

The best pizza in Siargao.

Wednesday, 6 November

It's a beautiful day.  We spent it preparing for the storm.  Boarding up the place, elevating machinery and sending all the construction workers home.

I got in touch with Chona Ayson of Homemade Treasures and asked her to send the ensaimadas and cheese rolls I had ordered to my mom in Manila instead.

I went to the grocery and the bakery to buy some food.  When I got to the bakery, the "German" bread was being brought out from the oven.  It was delicious, although I'm pretty sure that I didn't have to have that second piece of bread...

When I got home, I cooked some chicken-tarragon macaroni, a slightly more posh mac and cheese, to take with me to Villa Maya.  I had been craving a good mac and cheese forever so, of course, I had to have a plate of it for lunch.

• Shred, Level 3
• Swimming:  32 laps

Skipped dinner.

Thursday, 7 November

It rained through the night, but this morning was just a little bit cloudy.  I wanted to take my time at our place before having to evacuate.  The typhoon wasn't scheduled to hit till next morning anyway.  I told the staff we'd leave after lunch.

• Shred, Level 3

While I was working out, it started to rain very hard.  I worried about the staff that had stayed on because they live nearby.  They still had long walks ahead of them to their respective houses in the fields.  I immediately arranged for transport for me and my dog to Villa Maya, since I knew that the staff wouldn't leave as long as I was still there.

When we got to Villa Maya, the rain had stopped.  While it was a bit cloudy, it seemed like a perfectly good day.  The calm before the storm.  With nothing to do, we began to drink and eat.  I tried reading for a bit but eventually joined the boys at the bar.  Typically, I was the only girl drinking.  We had a few beers and rum cokes.  Before the storm had even begun, we had gone through most of the junk food we had brought.

We had been there so long that we started to laugh about the typhoon being a non-event.  As we sat there, cracking jokes, Typhoon Haiyan (a.k.a. Yolanda) was developing into the strongest storm in recorded history.

We went to bed as the winds picked up.  I couldn't sleep.  My dog, Apollo, and I were sharing space with Villa Maya's guests on the second floor.  The windows were all boarded up so we left the door open and Apollo chose to sleep out on the balcony.  At around 2 AM, with a tempest howling outside, I tried to get him to come inside but he was dead to the world and I had to drag him in.

The rain was coming through the window next to the sofa bed I was on, so I laid out the small mat I had brought with me and lay on the floor, listening to corrugated iron sheets rattle in the wind.

Friday, 8 November

As it started to get light outside, we got up to watch the storm from the balcony.  David Frachou of Kawayan Resort and Alon were there too.  All of a sudden, a big gust of wind lifted something from the floor above us and smashed it along the stairs.  Glass broke at our feet and sent us scurrying back inside the room.

Then the wind started to die down.  I promised Gerry Degan (of Sagana Resort) that I'd make him breakfast so I did.  Later, I took a walk with Apollo and the resort's guests over to Cloud 9 to check out the waves.  The waves were monstrous and there was a lone kite surfer out.

Aussie Kyron Rathbone kite surfing at Cloud 9.

Apollo and I were back at our place by noon and I made myself a second breakfast.

Apart from fallen coconut leaves, everything seemed to be fine on the island, considering that GL was only about 60 km. from the edge of the storm's eye.  We were very lucky.  In the meantime, other parts of the country were being turned into wastelands.

Mobile phone signals were intermittent the whole day, but the electricity was finally restored in the early evening.  I hadn't slept and was exhausted but it was also the eve of Liam's birthday so I went  to Drop Inn where we had pasta and finished a bottle of Patron XO.

Saturday, 9 November

• Swimming:  32 laps

I had twisted my foot in Alon's kitchen on Thursday night, while heating up the macaroni in the microwave, so I skipped doing Shred, but the pool was finally cleaned and I did my laps today.

Given that I had eaten a lot of junk on Thursday and ate two breakfasts (that involved rice) and pasta on Friday, I decided to be good today and only have dinner.  But, when it was served, I still wasn't hungry and ended up feeding most of my dinner to the dog.

Which was a mistake, because Liam was having a few people over for his birthday (including Pontus and Frida, my hosts when I was in Sweden) and it meant that between my first drink over at their place at around 8 PM and 4 AM, when I found myself sitting opposite where I originally was on the balcony, watching movies with Carl, I have absolutely no recollection of what happened.  (Since Pontus and Frida arrived some time during my blackout, it means that I have no recollection of having seen them although Frida has confirmed, through text messages, that they were indeed in the company of the Evil Twin.)

Sunday, 10 November

I wasn't hungover but I hadn't slept much since the typhoon so I decided that I wasn't even going to think of exercising today.

Nicolas wisely had his flight to Siargao moved from Friday to today.  (He leaves for Cebu on Wednesday and will no longer be returning to Siargao until after the project he is working on in Cebu is launched.)

After he arrived, I went to the market to buy some vegetables because we had, apparently, run out.  On my way back from the market, I stopped at Maridel's in GL to buy myself some lunch.  I'm so tired of our own food that I am quite happy to eat at Maridel's any time.  I bought about four different things, heated it up at home and devoured it like I had been starved for years.

I asked Nicolas about the damage to the house.  He said he estimates it at about P30,000.  Which, in the grand scheme of things, is really nothing.

I am finally catching up on the news and am horrified by the destruction that Haylain has left in its wake.  Which is the nature of the beast, isn't it?  Every time we heave a sigh of relief that Siargao was spared from being devastated by a typhoon, it only means that somewhere else, there's another village, another town, another city, another province that is being leveled to the ground.  And we turn over in our beds at nights, knowing full well that it could have easily been us.

***

Please click here to find out how you can help the typhoon victims.

The Slightly More Sober Week That Was (Part 2)

Monday, 21 October

Nicolas and I had a big breakfast before he left to catch the plane to Cebu and I thought I'd be good and not eat the whole day.  Then I got a text from my friends, Liam Cox and Carl Branson (British owners of the now defunct Drop Inn), asking if I wanted to come over for dinner.  How can I resist when guys offer to cook?  We hadn't seen each other in a while and it was definitely time for a catch-up.  And Ailene did send over a chocolate cake that morning...

Except that my energy levels were really low.  I couldn't work out, but I did swim 30 laps before going over to see the boys.  I stayed for a bit and then went home early.

Tuesday, 22 October

Energy levels back up!

• Walked the dog.
• Shred, Level 2
• Swimming:  30 laps

To make up for my early exit the night before, I offered to bring dinner to the guys, as well as a bottle of Don Papa, my favorite rum.  Had a fun night, drinking and laughing.  We finished Ailene's cake then ordered another one from Aventino's.

(Internet file photo.)

Wednesday, 23 October

• Walked the dog.
• Shred, Level 2
• Swimming:  30 laps

Sober day today.  Went to market to buy fruits and vegetables.

Thursday, 24 October

• Walked the dog.  Tried something new today and walked the dog to the 4 km. marker (- our place is a few meters beyond the 5 km. marker), which means that we walked more than 2 km.  Since I don't trust this dog, I have to keep him on a leash, to make sure he doesn't go wandering off.  But, as I did with Napo, I have to carry a stick to protect him from other dogs, as well as other dogs - and people - from him.
• Shred, Level 2

We had a big girlie despedida (farewell) lunch for Susan.  We started off with a large, strong fruity cocktail at Sagana, before proceeding to Kawayan for lunch.

Since David Frachou (- the Angry French Man of Kawayan Resort) works the kitchen solo, it does take time for orders to come out, but his food is totally worth the wait.  Everything we had was good:  the ceviche (- he followed our advice and ditched the tomatoes he served with it when Nicolas and I were there), the seafood pasta (- I must have this again!), and he made an apple pie to die for!  We ordered two bottles of wine and Elsa mixed up some sangria for all thirteen of us.

Kawayan's ceviche.

Friends from Manila, Candice Lumayno and Gina Gamboa (plus two of their friends), arrived the day before and we met up at Kawayan so that we could all ride over to my place for dinner.

I sometimes forget the effect our house has on people who see it for the first time.  As soon as we pulled up, they started woop-wooping and seemed unsure if they should gawk, pull out their cameras or keep shrieking and, because I was concerned about the tide rising and the sun going down, I was impatient and rushing them with the instruction, "Walk and talk, people, walk and talk."

It was great seeing them again.  We drank beer and swam in the pool until it was time for dinner.  We had fish and crab, and I opened the last bottle of cava to welcome them to Siargao.

The pool.

Friday, 25 October

• Walked the dog.  I walked him out on the road with the intention of going all the way to the 4 km. marker again but Apollo would have none of it.  We had barely gotten past Dedon and Bayud resorts when he started being stubborn.  I thought we should at least make it to the former L&B Resort, but Apollo refused to budge and we had to turn back.
• Shred, Level 2
• Swimming:  30 laps

Candice, Gina and company went to Sohoton during the day and I suspected that the trip would wipe them out, especially since they had been doing a lot of early days and early nights.  They insisted they were up for partying, especially since Candice was leaving on Sunday and she wanted to go to the Friday night jungle disco.  So, at 9 AM, I went to Nine Bar to wait for them.

Sure enough, they started to flake. 

"We're just going out to dinner now.  Text you when we're done."  (She said the same thing about an  hour earlier.)

"Food coma.  Going back for a power nap.  We will catch up with you at the jungle disco."

I was one beer down on my three-beers-a-night thing (- the rule does not apply when at home or other people's homes) and was bummed.  I caught the first habal (motorbike taxi) that passed by and called on Liam and Carl.  Liam was nodding off in the hammock, but Carl brought out the rum I had left with them and drank with me.

 We finished what was left of the bottle.

Past midnight, the girls were awake and ready to roll.  They came by for me but we couldn't fit all of us on the bike so the driver dropped them off first at Tattoo, the jungle disco, then came back for me.

And this is where my memory gets splotchy.

I have vague memories of harassing Remo Lütolf (Swiss Olympian swimmer), dancing wildly with Candice and mock-arguing with Al Solloso, Siargao's resident gay boy.  At around 3 AM, I said my goodbyes and dropped Al home, before heading home myself.

Saturday, 26 October

Three hours later, I was awake.  And Candice was just getting back to their resort.  (She wasn't kidding when she said they'd take a power nap.  They went from zero to fully charged in less than two hours!)

She filled in the blanks of the previous night.  She said that we danced like crazy people, I drank some beer (- so much for the three-drinks-a-night rule), ate some biscuits (?) but that, no, I did not smoke.

While I didn't feel particularly hungover, I did feel rough around the edges and starved like I hadn't eaten in ages.  I ate big, heavy meals the whole day (- I had rice with EVERYTHING) and snacked in between.  I'm chalking it up to PMS and a wannabe-hangover.  Because of the lack of sleep, I was lethargic the whole day and didn't have the energy to work out.

Sunday, 27 October

I got up at 6 AM this morning to go to the market for some meat, chicken and fish.  Made a big breakfast for us when I got back, then went back to sleep.

Now waiting for lunch.  Am excited because it's the first time the maid is preparing paella for us since we sold the resort in 2010.  I have to say that we made the best paella back then and we've been missing it.  While our maid trained with the resort staff before we left, she hasn't had a chance to replicate all the dishes we did then.  Recently, I thought that it's about time to do these dishes again before she forgets them completely.  So far, she's been doing a great job.  Needs a bit of fine tuning but not much.  Today, she's making paella and cured tanguingue (mackarel), two of the best dishes we had before.  I hope she gets them right!

I did Shred, Level 2 this morning.  I can't believe I've already done nine sessions and only have one more to go before I start Level 3.  Noooooooo!!!  I don't want to move up to Level 3!  I've watched a bit of it and am terrified.  I'm not even done being freaked out by Level 2!

Will swim 30 laps before we head out for dinner at Kawayan tonight.  I already pre-ordered the seafood pasta, the pork tagine, and the apple pie.  Can't wait!

Declared by Sagana's Susan Brandstetter to be the best dessert she's ever had on the island. 

***

Summary:  I'm getting fatter.  <groan>

The Slightly More Sober Week That Was

Monday, 14 October

Apparently, during last week's very "messy" Friday night, I had proposed that we all have lunch at Villa Maya on Monday.  The following night, the eager Norwegians and Swedes wanted to know if I already had it organized.  Before my Evil Twin could come rushing in on a Red Horse, I quickly sent a text to owner, Israeli, Alon Dassa, and ordered hummus, baba ghanoush, falafels and shawarmas.  Then I shot an invitation to Susan and, with that, lunch was set.

Villa Maya and Golf Course.

Alon and his Filipina wife, Venus, outdid themselves and prepared a mini feast for us.  (A clear favorite was the fried cauliflower, dipped in hummus or tahini.)  And Elsa mixed a wonderfully refreshing sangria for us to wash it all down with.  By the time the shawarmas were served, we couldn't eat any more and had to take them home.

I was so stuffed that, several hours later, while I attempted to do my 10th and last session of the 30 Day Shred's Level 1, I nearly threw up doing the warm-up jumping jacks and had to abort.  I did 30 laps in the pool and told the maid I would skip dinner.

And then she told me that the carrot cake that I ordered from Ailene had arrived.

I should never be left alone with cake.

I also ended up eating the shawarma cold, and it was still very tasty.

Tuesday, 15 October

At the poker night that I crashed last week, I told Siargao Inn's German owner, Rico (- his Filipino name) Reitenbach, that I had been meaning to check out the new rooms he had built and that I wanted to try the food at his restaurant again.

Siargao Inn's view.  (Photo c/o Eliza-Mari Almazol.)

So, today, the girls joined me for lunch at Siargao Inn.  (These lunches have evolved to girl-only lunches as a slow farewell to Sue before she leaves for Oz next Friday.)  Be advised that the servings here are HUGE, especially if you order the burrito or the empanada.  For a light dessert, try their homemade yogurt with honey.

After yesterday's workout disaster, I made sure to finish Shred, Level 1 in the morning, and did the 30 laps late in the afternoon.  I have now decided that anything less than 30 laps is a waste of time and resigned myself to the fact that it will be dark by the time I finish swimming.  I just have to turn on more lights around the house so that it isn't too gloomy.

Again, I told the maid I wouldn't have any dinner but had about a kilo of fruit and, predictably, more cake.

Wednesday, 16 October

• 30 Day Shred, Level 2 - Goodgod, I hate this workout.  Seriously, how one can go from high-knees to squat thrusts and then do them over again without keeling over from a massive coronary is beyond me.  Don't look at me.  I stop before my arteries can explode.  I sweat so much that it's almost impossible to do the planks at the end of the workout without my feet or hands slipping all over the place.  And I have NINE more of these to go?  <groan>
• Swimming:  30 laps

I worked out in the morning because I had to meet some guests over at Dedon for sunset drinks.

Because I was a guest of a guest there, it meant that I didn't have an all-access pass to alcohol and was thus able to observe the alcoholic in me when denied instant gratification.

As soon as I was done with the first beer, I instinctively wanted another.  My hand frequently went to the empty bottle and I found myself glancing nervously over at the bar a lot, where there was no bartender.  (The manager was with us and she was in charge.)  When someone made a move to get another drink, I immediately piped up that I wanted another one too.

With the second Red Horse, I was a bit more loose.  Behavior and language were still controlled, but only just so.  As soon as I had finished the beer, I was restless again.  And then I realized that, while I really did need another drink, I didn't necessarily need another beer.  I needed another drink because alcohol dehydrates and I was thirsty.

When the thirst became uncomfortable, I said my goodbyes and left, and returned home and had a lot of ice cold water.

Thursday, 17 October

• Shred, Level 2 (before lunch) - Problem solved with the slipping.  I change spots around the room and I place a towel under my hands during the different plank exercises.  I'm still super wussy and alternate between following Natalie (difficult) and Anita (easy).
• Swimming:  30 laps (before dinner)

Lunch at Kalinaw, with a bottle of white shared among five.

Kalinaw.  (Photo c/o Eliza-Mari Almazol)

Evening:  Fred De Backer, one of the French owners of Kalinaw, was DJ-ing at Nine Bar, so I thought I'd show support.

After Friday night's blackout and yesterday's introspection at Dedon, I decided to give moderation another try.  I was only going to allow myself three drinks.

I arrived early and joined Peter and Elsa for dinner (- they ordered some yummy creamy chicken pasta from La Luna), and I held off on the beer until the guests started to arrive.  And then I ordered my first Red Horse and nursed it slowly.

Surprisingly, I was able to stick to just three beers throughout the night.  And what's even more surprising is that I actually had a great time!  I was hanging out with some really cool gay boys from Manila and we stomped around and danced like madmen and laughed like banshees.  I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time.

Of course, as I was settling the bill at the bar, Joie, Fred's Filipina partner, cornered me and wouldn't hear of my turning down a shot since it was after midnight and it was officially her birthday.  How could I say no?  I had one tequila shot with her - and things could have taken a turn for the worse had I not run right smack into My Least Favorite Person In The Universe.  Talk about an unlikely Deus Ex Machina.  I took that as my cue to exit stage left.

MODERATION ACHIEVED.  Ohmy.  I refuse to think of the implications.  

Friday, 18 October

• Shred, Level 2 - This seems to be a good day.  I only followed Natalie (difficult) and did almost all the reps, except for those chair squats with V-raises.  I LOATHE those.  I only do about 16 squats and then I most definitely do not raise my arms to eye level, and then, for the rest of the count, I skip the squats and just do the V-raises.  How those women manage to do this workout without looking like a total wreck after, I do not know.  But I am considering upping my weights next time to the three-kilo dumbbells for the static lunges with medium-grip rows and the pendulum lunges with hammer curls.  
• Swimming:  30 laps

While Nicolas brought over my groceries from Cebu, he left everything else in the freezer back at the apartment!  Well, just the Chinese dumplings and the Reese's peanut butter cups.  There was no baklava on account of there being no filo pastry available in Cebu last week.  Fingers crossed that everything makes it to the island next Friday.

It was Joie's birthday party and Sue was very happy to hear that I am now managing my alcohol intake.  Of course, when she poured me some wine and only filled my glass halfway, I objected.  I took the bottle and filled the glass to the brim.  I may be only having three drinks but, dammit, they're going to be three FULL drinks.  She was so happy with my control that, before I left, she poured me another one for the road.

I went home and finished what was left of the cake.

By the way, before the party, Nicolas and I grabbed a quick bite to eat at Kawayan and we totally recommend the ceviche starter. 

Saturday, 19 October

I couldn't sleep last night.

Finally, at 5 AM, I popped one of those pills that Sue gave me a few months ago.  Her guests had left them behind and they told her they were over-the-counter drugs (SleepWell) and were very mild.  I must have eventually dozed off but then I had difficulty waking up.  I was groggy and pretty much drifted in and out of sleep the whole day and night.  Needless to say, I had zero energy for exercise.

Sunday, 20 October

Energy levels almost back to normal.

• Shred, Level 2 - I spoke too soon.  Today was like my first day back at Level 2.  I couldn't finish the reps and was gasping for air most of the time.  I don't think I should be upping my weights yet.
• Swimming:  30 laps

Summary:

Still not dieting.  Lost maybe half a kilo after that night of frenzied dancing, but I'm sure it's all back now.  Alcohol intake, managed.  Smoking, possibly managed.  (Since I quit last October 1, I must have smoked during Bones' closing party, at poker night and the Friday Night I Can't Remember, but I can't be sure.)  I only walked the dog once this week (last Tuesday), for which I have no excuse.

I think I will go into hibernation as soon as Sue leaves.  I really need to be more serious about losing weight.  I'm getting tired of the fat look.

The Debauched Week That Was (Part 2)

Tuesday, 8 October

• Walked the dog.  Yes, I am now counting this as exercise.

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming:  30 laps

I crashed the guys' poker night at Kawayan.  It was supposed to be my big experiment on "drinking moderately" and I got to figuring out that about three Red Horses, nursed throughout the night, would be just about right.  And then I proceeded to drink double that.  Stopped for more beer at 101.

Wednesday, 9 October

Got up at 5:30 AM to go to the market.  Yes, I am doing this now.  This is my attempt at "responsibility".  Let's jusy say that I now have three freezers full of meat and seafood and that I won't have to go to the market at 5:30 AM again for a while.  (The meat is freshest around that time since they usually butcher a pig around 5 AM everyday.)

Then, I biked to Driftwood for lunch.  It was the first time I crossed over the Kilometer 0 marker in General Luna going towards Cloud 9 by myself!  (Mommy, mommy, looky!)  I was so proud!

It was also the first time in a long while that I biked without any music on and I realized a few things:  (1) that my cheap-ass bike makes quite a racket and (2) so do I.  It's actually quiet out on the road when you're not on a motorbike, or on a bicycle singing at the top of your lungs.  And maybe yelling "good morning" at everyone I pass might be jarring for the old folk.  Sigh...  Sometimes ignorance is truly bliss.

Driftwood is under new management (and, as of last week, has changed its name to The Curry Pot - revised 21 Oct. 2013).  It offers all-day breakfasts, and deli meats that you can have in subs or toasts.  I had a sub, which was just okay.  It would have been better if they had grilled the bread and melted the cheese.  I only found out later that I should have ordered toast instead.  (Duh.)

It's a weird sort of joint because it's a small space with only one big table.  We were the only guests at that time and the serving girls and the owners were hanging around and, of course, they could hear all of our conversations, and we were three girls girl-talking and catching up.  We weren't too comfortable with that.

Before I left, I joined the girls for coffee.  Big mistake.  I felt worse than if I had a hangover.  I collapsed in bed and tried not to die.

 

Thursday, 10 October

• Walked the dog.  I learned today that when walking one's dog in a short dress on a windy day, one risks broadcasting one's bottom to the world in pursuit of a wayward hat.

(Internet file photo.)

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1

Friday, 11 October

• Walked the dog.
• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Kettlebell swings:  3 sets x 20 reps
• Swimming:  20 laps

You do know that all that activity was in anticipation of a massive hangover the next day, right?

Saturday, 12 October

I woke up at around 8:30 AM.

Last night, I had dinner at Nine Bar with the owners, Swedish couple, Peter and Elsa, and tried their Indonesian specials by their new Indonesian cook.  I had about three glasses of wine.  And then the Norwegians showed up.  They ordered a pitcher of some nasty concoction and started pouring shots.  The DJ started to play...

And that's all I remember.  I had no idea what time I had left, how I had gotten home...  I panicked and texted people.  Of course, no one was up at 8:30 AM.  So I went down the check list:

• Body - A few nicks and cuts on the legs, but nothing too weird.
• Phone - No drunken texts or calls.  No calls to the habal (motorbike taxi) driver too, so I still didn't know how I got home.
• Computer - No drunken posts.

So far, so good.

My clothes were in the hamper.  The shoes though were strewn all over the place.  I had a lot less money, which meant that I must have paid my bills.  I had also let the dog in so maybe I wasn't that much of a basket case when I got home.

By 10:30 AM, I got my first text.  Apparently, I had gone off with Nine Bar's DJ after his set to the jungle disco, where I ordered more drinks but kept dropping them.  He said he didn't see me leave.  He gave me a new nickname:  Messy Beaucoup.

I had the maid make me some vegetable soup and crawled back into bed.

Then I got a text from Elsa.  Was I coming to lunch?  Holy shit!  I made lunch plans?  On a weekend?!  What a bloody amateur!  Someone's birthday party and I didn't even know whose.  I commandeered a habal and made it to General Luna in record time.

It would turn out that the birthday lunch (for the Indonesian cook's daughter) wouldn't be ready till "oh, three or five.  Not now.  Too hot."  Peter, Elsa and I walked over next door to Driftwood.  The toast was definitely much better than the sub but I still would have liked the bread more toasted and the cheese melted.

This time, the serving girls were in uniform.  I don't think they had them on before or I would have noticed, and I am quite notorious for not noticing things, but these uniforms were kinda hard to miss.  They were wearing what looked like school uniforms with short red skirts and black see-through thigh-high stockings.  Without any shoes.  It was just wrong on so many levels.  Especially in the day time heat!

I went back home late in the afternoon, hoping to catch some z's before heading back out again for dinner, but that didn't happen.

I swam 20 laps. 

I went out again with the Swedes and the Norwegians.  Some wild wind had kicked up quite a fuss earlier and the power was on and off.  In the blackout, we tried to find a place to eat.  Kalinaw was fully booked.  The generator at Kawayan was down and David didn't want to accept orders until the power came back on.  Sagana couldn't accommodate us.  So we headed back to Nine Bar for the same Indonesian fare we had the night before.

The Norwegians filled in what they could of the previous night for me.  They said they had ordered two pitchers of the shots we were doing.  They said Jagermeisters were also involved.  (No!  That means Bianca Jager was out and she's the nastiest Evil Twin of all!)  They followed to the jungle disco, but didn't see me there.  They were pretty messed up too.  They didn't get up till 3 PM that day.

On my way back from a trip to the loo, I ran into the Indonesian cook.  I almost didn't recognize her, all dolled up.

"Why you don't come to my dinner?"

"Because I thought it was lunch and I already had dinner plans."

"I still have siomai."

"Okay."

"You come to my house and taste."

"I'm really quite full, thank you.  I just ate your food upstairs.  It was very good."

"Come on, you try."

So that's how I ended up at the Indonesian cook's house (which was right behind Nine Bar) and met her Australian husband and two children, and her maid who insisted that I try the buko (coconut) salad.

When I got back to the dinner, the Norwegians were already settling their bills.  They wanted to be ready for the surf the next day.

It was a quiet night at the bar, so I kept Peter company until midnight.

Sunday, 13 October

I thought I had made it home without the appearance of any of the Evil Twins.  Until I got up to search for my phone.  It wasn't anywhere.  I would have tried to call it except that it's on "Do Not Disturb" mode from 11 PM to 10 AM.  I must have blacked out when I got home.  My money was strewn all over the place.  I peeked outside.  Sure enough, there it was.  Lying face down on the grass.  (Thank god for the Life Proof casing!)  It must have fallen out while I was paying the habal driver.  It's a good thing it didn't get squashed by the motorbike.  Or get stolen.

I lay in bed, hungry.  It was a Sunday and all was quiet at the staff house.  I had a very specific craving for arroz ala cubana.  When the maid got back from Church, I asked her to defrost some meat.

While I was cooking, I got a text from Peter and Elsa.  Could they come over for lunch?  They could bring pizza.  Sure, why not?  I was cooking enough for six anyway.  I opened a bottle of cava to celebrate the day.

By the time they had gone, the heat had zapped my energy.  All I wanted to do was sleep.  But I weighed myself again and I hadn't lost a single kilo.  I forced myself to work out.

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming:  30 laps

I really should stop drinking.

The Debauched Week That Was

Sunday, 29 Sept.

I arrived back in Siargao in time for the Awards Night of the surfing competiton.  I must have had about a dozen Red Horses.  Caught up with a lot of guys I hadn't seen in a while and danced with Sue.  Nicolas sat outside one of the barbecue stalls, patiently waiting for me with the dog, so I didn't make too much of a late night out of it.

Monday, 30 Sept.

Breaking Bad's finale.  Some friends cooked chili and I brought over dessert, a chilled bottle of cava,and a bottle of red for good measure.

Tuesday, 1 Oct.

Starting again.  Finally, an attempt to shed the three kilos I gained in Manila.  Green smoothies, a Paleo dinner.  And an earnest attempt at giving up smoking.

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming:  20 laps

Wednesday, 2 Oct.

I invited some friends over for lunch and opened a bottle of white, which I ended up consuming myself.

Was in no condition to be jumping around.

I took a disco nap, then headed to Sagana for a tataki dinner, and drinks at Bones' Sports Bar where, in the course of the evening and more than a few Horses, I had a box of pizza and a whole cake delivered.  I deposited the remains of the cake with friends on my way home.

Thursday, 3 Oct.

Had Sue and the surf comp. judges over for crepes.

Still lazy.  Only did the 30 Day Shred.

No smokes, despite being around smokers in the evening.

Friday, 4 Oct.

Ditto.  30 Day Shred.  Still no swimming.  Had a massage after dinner.

Saturday, 5 Oct.

Big burst of energy today.  This, of course, is in anticipation of Bones' closing party on Sunday and the big hangover on Monday.

Morning:

• 10 km+ bike ride
• 3 sets of 20 kettlebell swings

Afternoon:

• 30 Day Shred
• Swimming:  20 laps

Sunday, 6 Oct.

Gearing up for tonight.  

Morning:

• 10 km+ bike ride
• 3 sets of 20 kettlebell swings

Afternoon:

• 30 Day Shred
• Swimming:  20 laps

I made arrangements to head over to Bones' at 6:30, and then Nicolas and I got invited to dinner over at Dedon.  How could I resist?  Dinner turned out to be just cocktails and I was hammered by the time I left at around 9:30.  Wreaked havoc over at Bones' till sunrise.

Monday, 7 Oct.

As predicted.  I was dead or dying.

I have no idea what time I got home but I was up at 8:30, having breakfast with a very angry Nicolas.  Apparently, I had skipped out on him and the Dedon cocktails with the key to our room and he was locked out for the night and very unhappy with me.

After he left to catch the flight to Cebu, I lay in bed the whole day and night, only getting up to eat and go to the toilet.

Oh, I did manage to walk the dog.  I tossed a toy for him to catch in the water, but he wasn't that into it and, frankly, neither was I.  So we walked along the beack towards Union and then back on the road.  That should count for something.

Checked my weight.  I haven't made a dent.

For breakfast, I had Spam, eggs and fried rice.  For dinner, I had a bowl of bulalo delivered to the house, which I had the maid recook with potatoes and vegetables.  The bulalo lady said that the portion was for three people.  Yeah, right.  Maybe three vegetarians.  I ate it all with a big bowl of rice.  Yes, I had a lot of rice today.  Needed it to soak up the alcohol.

On the plus side, I came back with everything in my bag intact, although my hip flask was yawning wide open and empty.  When I left the night before, it was full of Stolichnaya Blue, which is 100% proof vodka.

<flashbacks of vodka-Red Bulls>

I texted Bones to ask what I owed him and he sent back crazy messages about how I owed him a gazillion pesos.  I checked my money.  I had obviously paid the bar bill because I only had P40 left.

I recall having a drag of a cigarette last night but, from the state my throat is in, I suspect I may have smoked more than that.  Nooooooo!

I am still a non-smoker.  I am a non-smoker, I am a non-smoker, I am a non-smoker...

Some guys rang up in the afternoon.  Bones' Bar wasn't closed yet.  Did I want to join them for a few drinks?  I didn't think I could part with my bed, the air-conditioning and the toilet at that point.

Will start again tomorrow.

Drinking, that is.  (I'm kidding.  But you never know with me, right?)