Desperate Measures

The Goa Diaries (Part 4)

Thursday, 13 February

7:00 AM - 100 jumping jacks.

8:00 AM - Although there was no formal announcement, I found out that the yoga at the massage school was discontinued.  So I went to the Indian guy who does "Thai yoga" down the road from my guesthouse.  Julia, one of the English girls in my class, goes to him.

Sainu's style is rather quick.  We only hold the poses for five breaths.  And he doesn't check on us all the time, so if his instructions are lost in translation, then so are we.

While he did correct us some times, it would have been nice if he had done it more often, especially since there were only three of us in class.  All in all, it wasn't bad and I guess something is better than nothing - and he did some much needed stretches afterwards and a lovely gong meditation.  (One hour sessions, everyday except Sunday.  200 rs/session or 1000 rs for five.  I signed up for five.)

12:00 PM - Chai break:  Took a nap.

2:30 PM - Julia, Monica and I went to Arambol for some shopping.

We had lunch on the beach first, at 21 Coconuts Inn, which Lua, the Brazilian, recommended.  I had a fish tikka and half a vegetable biriyani for 280 rs.

  Monica, with her red snapper tandoori, and me, with my fish tikka.

Julia, with our shared vegetable biriyani and her fish curry.  It wasn't a good day to be a fish in Arambol.

Matt (Brit), whom Alan, Stephen and I met in Kerala, was also in Goa briefly on his way to Mumbai.  So I caught up with him and had a cigarette.  Ayyyy...

After lunch, we went shopping.  I bought some harem pants to replace the ones I want to toss, and a silver ring.

We walked back on the beach just as the sun was setting and a pretty cool scene was unfolding.  There was a guy tossing a frisbee, there were cultists meditating, there was a girl doing tricks with a hula hoop, there were kids doing somersaults, there were people drumming and dancing…  There were also a bunch of foreigners selling their creations on the beach.  (I bought another ring.)

Scenes from Arambol:

 




It got quieter the farther away we got from Arambol.  By the time we reached Mandrem, night had closed in, so we looked for a cab to take us back to Morjim.

8:30 PM - It's cold!  I feel like the air-conditioner is on in my room, except that it's not.  Neither is the fan.  In fact, I hardly ever use the fan.  I'm so grateful that the weather, at this time, has been rather pleasant.  According to Urja, it was scorching in November and December.

Did 100 jumping jacks, then took a shower.

As I was showering, I noticed a small frog hanging out on the grills of the bathroom window.  Like it was something it did everyday.  I didn't want it hopping about in the room so I called someone to get it out.

Prince Charming, is that you? 

How the hell did that frog get in my room and how did it get all the way up on the bathroom grills?  (Yes, I know it hopped, smart ass.)  So far, I've successfully kept the mosquitoes out of my room but, if the frog could get in, could other creatures get in too?  Eek!  <shudder>

Friday, 14 February

7:00 AM - 100 jumping jacks.

8:00 AM - Thai yoga.  Today, we did pranayama after the asanas, which was nice.

12:00 PM - Chai break:  Samosas!  Had two vegetable samosas.

3:30 PM - I was going to skip lunch but, I swear, the music at the restaurant in my guesthouse is driving me mad.  They've been playing the same music from morning to night, every single day.  And I can hear it from my room!  At first, I liked it and wanted to get a copy, but, now, I'd really like to rip their iPod out of its dock and hurl it under a passing car.

Instead, I fled to the cafe down the road, but not before I sent an email to the guesthouse owners and pleaded with them to give their staff a wider selection of playlists.

Esperanto Cafe shares the same name as the restaurant of Morjim Resort, which is a stone's throw away, except that Morjim Resort seems to confused as to the spelling of "esperanto" because, on one sign, it's "essperanto" and, on another, they took out the extra s so it's  "es peranto". 

I like Esperanto Cafe.  It's a funky little cafe.

They have a deli with cheeses made in Goa (- camembert, feta, etc.), jewelry, clothes, bags, herbs, spices, soaps, etc.  And I finally found a scrub!

When I get back to the guesthouse, I will scrub my feet clean!

I had a brownie (which they topped with what I think is their muesli mix and chocolate syrup) and a grilled aubergine and feta sandwich.

 

On my way back to the guesthouse, I bought another 5-liter bottle of water.  I'm doing well on my mission to hydrate!  I've had 7.4 liters in two days!

Except that, now, this is me:

Story of my life.

6:30 PM - 100 jumping jacks.  Then stepped into the shower.  I love my new scrub!!!

8:00 PM - We went on a party out on a boat.  I suppose it's their way of getting around the 10 PM noise curfew.  But it was retro pop music:  funk, disco, soul, R&B…  Lots of old fogies.  We stayed because it was a beautiful night to be out on a boat.

The food and drinks were expensive though.  And the menu seemed to be merely a suggestion and was open to much interpretation.  Kat (another Brit) and Julia ordered an avocado salad and got a chef's salad instead because they were out of avocados.  Urja ordered fries with a cheese dip and got a mayo dip instead.  When she asked for a cheese dip, they just gave her more mayo.  I ordered a butter and garlic prawn and squid starter (675 rs.) and got some creamy mixture served with bread.  I didn't eat it.  They did have a cheap bottle of wine (850 rs.) so I drank instead.  We had three bottles shared among four.  So, yeah, there was a lot of arm-flailing and woohooing at the top deck.  I also smoked a lot.

After the party, a few of us went back to Garett (American)'s place, supposedly on our way to another party, but Garett wisely put a stop to the festivities seeing as there was massage school to contend with in the morning.

I think it was 1 AM when I got to bed.  My regular bedtime.

Saturday, 15 February

6:30 AM - I hate waking up early.  My alarm is set for 9 AM but I'm already awake.  Thinking of going to yoga, but - nah.

9:30 AM - I stopped in at Cafe Delicieux to get Urja a carrot cake.  I'd like her to try it.  Since I was there already, I had a bacon quiche.

12:00 PM - Chai break:  We had some sort of rice.  Urja said it was "pre-cooked rice".  It was mixed in with some herbs and it was delicious.  And then, she brought out a pie because it was Saskia (German but living in Anjuna for the past 12 years)'s birthday.  I guess that's lunch!

Saskia cuts her birthday pie.  (That's Valentina, from Chile, in the background.)

The pie turned out to be a cleverly done banana pie.  I'm not sure what went into the "crust", but the inside was just bananas with something like a peanut butter sauce and coconut shavings.  Simple but good!

4:30 PM - 100 jumping jacks.

I'm tempted to stroll down to Cafe Esperanto for a quick bite but we will be going to the night market and I'm pretty sure we'll be eating quite a bit over there.

7:30 PM - Saturday Night Market, Arpora.

So much for skipping dinner.  I was starving and went straight for the food.  Had some fried chicken and a cheesecake.  I also had a slice of pizza which was offered to me by a Danish family that sat opposite us at the table.

I love the night market.  There are so many things to see.  It's expensive though and you can seriously blow your budget.  I bought four dresses then got out of there by ten.  But I could have easily stayed till much later.  I think I'll go back next week.

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The Goa Diaries (Part 3)

Tuesday, 11 February

6:30 AM - I went to bed at about 1 AM and, typically, was awake by 6.  I'm averaging about five hours of sleep now.  Which would be fine if I could have my second sleep but, since I have a full day ahead, it really isn't an option.

I still don't sleep before midnight.

Did 100 jumping jacks.

7:45 AM - Iyengar yoga.  Put off by yesterday's kiddie yoga, I wasn't going to come in today but Urja urged me to check out the new instructor, so I did.  Except that it was still Anya.  She said she's been having neck issues but was feeling better today so she decided to come in.

I finally interviewed her.  She's been doing yoga for five years, but wasn't serious for the first two.  Max only started two years ago but is more flexible than her.  They both completed their teacher training in Arambol in November of last year.

Four of the ten Chinese returned today.  And only two of the massage school students, myself included.  If this were an Agatha Christie novel, it would be "And Then There Were None."

Today's session was much better than yesterday's.  As I said, I don't mind it being slow because I haven't done anything strenuous since forever and my shoulders are so sore than I can barely do diddly anyway.

After the class, Anya told me that the pain in her neck had started up again.  She's sending another instructor tomorrow.  I guess Urja's going to want me to check him out.

12:00 PM - Skipped the fruits and had a nap during chai break.  This could be my second sleep.

3:00 PM - Monica and I were supposed to go to Arambol today and ordered a cab but it was commandeered by someone else when the massage class went into overtime when we stayed for some meditation.  Monica still wanted to go but I begged off and was glad for the time alone.

I accepted a ride on Miwa's motorbike going back to the guesthouse.

5:00 PM - It's hard not to eat when you're sitting in a restaurant.  Am at my guesthouse's restaurant, using the WiFi because the signal here is much stronger than in my room.  There's a menu on the table, which I've browsed through and pushed aside a hundred times.  I finally ordered a butter chicken paneer and it was a beautiful thing.

The Indians don't understand how someone could order a curry and not order some sort of flat bread or rice to go with it, so I ordered a roti but had less than half of it.  I didn't really need it.  At least now I know I can have a curry and not need any carbs to go with it.  Although if that had been lemon rice or ghee rice or anything-rice instead of a roti, I'm pretty sure I still wouldn't have needed it but, boy, would I have loved it.

8:00 PM - Did 100 more jumping jacks and only one set of the exercises in this article.  Except for the step-ups because I have nothing to step up on in my room.  (The table looks rickety, and the bed is too high, and the mattress rock hard and impossible to move.)  With no weights, of course.

Wednesday, 12 February

6:30 AM - 100 jumping jacks.

Btw, can you believe that I am now doing my own laundry?  My mother would have a heart attack if she knew.  (Don't tell her lest she get some funny ideas.)

Well, there's a bucket and a clothesline in the bathroom.  And the only laundry place I've seen charges 20 rupees a piece, and I change clothes everyday, sometimes twice a day.  I'm not sure why when almost everyone else in class is wearing the same clothes they've been in since I met them.  Seriously.  That's five days now.  I'm wondering if they're going ten for ten.

Anyway, I got back from the first day of school covered in oil, powder (- the massage I am studying uses an herbal powder) and dust.  I couldn't get out of my clothes fast enough.  I dunked them in the bucket, swirled in some detergent, and left them to soak overnight.  The next day, I changed the water, swirled the clothes around a bit more, and did this on repeat until the water was clear.  Et voila!  Fresh clothes! 

Now I do this daily.

Next thing you know I'll be buying a backpack and staying at hostels!  <Fast forward to a few weeks later...>

Well, it only take a few minutes.  I did it this morning before I left for school.

I know my clothes can't be that clean but, when in India, I've resigned myself to being covered in grime.  You should see my feet.  I'm definitely due for a good scrubbing.

7:45 AM - Iyengar yoga.  The new instructor showed up.  Another Russian bloke who was quite massive but very strong and flexible.  I liked the session.  Maybe because he didn't know that the Chinese couldn't understand English - or maybe he just didn't care - and the class was a bit more challenging than the ones we had the past few days.

9:30 AM - I spoke to one of the Chinese girls who can speak English and she said, "I come to India to study yoga with Indian teacher and there are only Russian teacher."  True that.  I told her about the Indian instructor a few doors down from my guesthouse - but then I remembered that he teaches - get this - Thai yoga.  He also gives Thai massage.  Go figure.

12:00 PM - Chai break:  bananas, papaya and grapes.

2:30 PM - Lunch with Monica and Lua (- our Brazilian classmate) at Morjim Resort's restaurant, Esperanto.  The specials of the day are written only in Cyrillic.  Goa has been annexed by Russia.

Before our orders arrived, I ducked into Cafe Delicieux for a brownie.

Lunch was so-so.  I ordered a beef stroganoff that I found too sweet because they put capsicum in it.  They also put capsicum in the Basmati rice which, at least, ensured that I wouldn't eat much of it.  Yeah, capsicum.  I'm not a fan.  Unless it's roasted, doused with olive oil and sprinkled with rock salt.

And then we got to talking to a man at the table next to us.  Rakesh turned out to be the owner of the resort/restaurant and he was having lunch with his in-laws and his son.  When their food arrived, he offered us a taste of "typical Indian food".  It turned out to be chole (chick peas curry) bhature (fried bread), which I had in Mumbai with Alan.  Rakesh told us that he only cooked it once a month because it was too heavy. 

Chole, on the left, and bhature, on the right.

 

It was delicious and totally saved the afternoon.

Of course, the glutton in me didn't find it heavy at all.  He should try that beef burger I devoured in Bangalore.  It had two patties stuffed with mushrooms and cheese, with an extra topping of bacon.  Now, THAT is heavy.  Yum.

That's half of the burger called Juicy Lucy from Plan B in Bangalore.

4:30 PM - Monica and I headed back to school to try the Kundalini meditation.  It was led by a German guy who informed us that we would be doing an Osho "active mediation".  It was broken down into four parts:  Part 1:  Shaking (15 minutes, to music); Part 2:  Dancing (15 minutes, to music); Part 3:  Sitting (15 minutes, to music); Part 4:  Lying Down (15 minutes, to silence, ended by a gong).

All-righty then.

(I am open-minded and will not judge.  I am open-minded and will not judge.  I am open-minded and will not judge.)

Well, the shaking and dancing should count as some form of exercise.

6:00 PM - It occurred to me this morning that I may be dehydrated.  I confirmed it tonight.  I bought a 5-liter water bottle when I arrived last Friday and only had to return the bottle to the store now.  I must have had only 7 liters in 5 days, and that is already a generous estimate.  That's 1.4 liters a day.  According to the Mayo Clinic website:  "The Institute of Medicine determined that an adequate intake (AI) for men is roughly 3 liters (about 13 cups) of total beverages a day. The AI for women is 2.2 liters (about 9 cups) of total beverages a day."

Wikepedia says it's 2.7 liters.

While they do say that the actual amount varies from individual to individual, 1.4 liters is still not enough.  Not for India, and not with all the massages we've been doing.  I should be tripling my water intake and take up permanent residence in a toilet.

9:00 PM - 100 jumping jacks and one more set of those exercises.  Will slowly work my way up to three sets of each exercise but am too lazy right now.

Gai's Siargao Food and Exercise Diary

Sunday, 15 December

Another sleepless night.  Had to force myself to get up in the morning.  It was too hot to jog so I took the bike out.  Two kilometers in, I got a flat tire.  I went to the nearest house and asked if I could park my bike in their yard until someone could come and get it.  I tried jogging back but, even with The Prodigy on full blast, it wasn't happening.  I walked.

• Biking, 2 km.
• Walking, 2+ km.

Nicolas was in the room the whole afternoon so I couldn't do the Jillian Michaels workout.  I really didn't want to anyway.

• Swimming, 32 laps, possibly more because I couldn't concentrate and kept losing track of my count and starting over.

Had a bit of chutney with my fish cakes but, apart from that, was still on track with Paleo.  It's a struggle though, knowing that Joanna Ongpin's espresso chip cookies are sitting in the fridge.  Nicolas had two.  Gaah!

Joanna Ongpin-Duarte's espresso chip cookies, available at the Rafik Shawarma/Pizza di Gracia booth at the Saturday Salcedo Market and the Balesin Club gift shop. 

Monday, 16 December

Still no sleep.  It's really difficult to be motivated when all you want to do is sleep.  The thought of moving right now isn't the most appealing.

I think I'm too scared to do Jillian Michaels' "6 Week Six-Pack".  I watched the rest of the video and she goes through the first part without any rest and then does everything again in DOUBLE TIME!  If I was already huffing and puffing at the warm-up, then I'm sure to be dead at the end of this workout.  Maybe I should do parts of the Shred workout again so that I can get back to that level of fitness first...

I've been told that my bike needs a new tire.  I think I need a new bike.

<twiddles thumbs>

Can you tell that I'm procrastinating?

Noo nee noo nee noo nee noo...

I ended up wrapping Christmas gifts for the staff.

I only had breakfast today.  Mr. Delicious applewood smoked bacon and fried eggs.  Yummy.

• Swimming, 32 laps

Tuesday, 17 December (Cheat Day)

Big lunch and some bubbly and cheroot cigars with friends, then a pizza dinner.  Oh, and I finally had some of those cookies.

• Swimming, 32 laps

Wednesday, 18 December

Groggy.  Was kept awake the whole night by a farting dog.  I don't know what he ate but it was nasty.

Asked for a green juice then tried to go back to sleep, but the leftover pizza from Kalinaw was calling me.  I reheated the last four slices and had them for lunch.  So much for Paleo.  ARGH.

I've lost my will to exercise.  It's too hot outside and Jillian Michaels scares me.

• Swimming, 32 laps

Had another green juice for dinner.

Thursday, 19 December

Rainy morning.  Chicken-vegetable soup.  One cookie.

• Swimming, 32 laps

Dinner:  More chicken-vegetable soup plus the leftover mustard-tarragon chicken and green salad from last Tuesday.  Plus one more cookie.

Friday , 20 December

I woke up starving and with a craving for Spam and fried eggs so that's what I had.  I had some green juice with it so my breakfast wasn't entirely unhealthy.

For lunch, I had meatballs soup.  With a bit of rice.  And then I had some dark chocolate.  And a cookie.  And another cookie.  Doh!

Tonight, for the first time in my 14 years in Siargao, I am having dinner at Lalay's, the local barbecue joint at the boulevard.  I only had their food once before, some years back when Nine Bar had a party there for their staff, but that was when they relocated to the side of the road.

• Swimming, 32 laps.  I've begun timing myself and I average about 39 minutes in the pool.

Saturday, 21 December

I can't decide if I am hungover or just lacking sleep or both.  I got home from the jungle disco at about 3:30 AM and was awake and playing with the dog four hours later.

I had a mango when I finally got up and what was left of the meatball soup.  No cookies yet.  (There are only two left.)

Lalay's was nice.  Aussie guy, Brent, was there and we had a good laugh.  I had the pork barbecue and the chicken barbecue and, although I didn't have rice, I did order a plate of fries.  My total food bill came out to P200.  Not bad.

I did drink a lot though.  We started with gin tonics at Lalay's (except that I wasn't drinking the tonic), then we had piñacoladas at Pontus and Frida's, then shitloads of very strong rum cokes at Tattoo.  There were a lot of cigarettes too. In my recollection, I was calm but, by other accounts, not so.  It's a good thing Andrew was there and made sure I got home okay.

The staff is having their Christmas party tonight.  I wonder if I am expected to attend.  I don't think I can remain upright for very long.

There will be no exercise today.

7:30 PM - So I ate a massive dinner with the staff and the workers.  It's a good thing they get shy around me so I left the table as soon as I finished so that they could eat comfortably and speak more freely among themselves.

I'm tempted to have a cookie.  Part of me is saying, "No exercise, no cookie."  And the other part is saying, "You're going to have to eat it all before you leave on Monday anyway so you might as well have it now."

I'll have a cookie.

Oh, joy!  There were still three in the box!  Well, two now...

Sunday, 22 December

Watched a TV series till 4 AM and was awake 3.5 hours later.

Lunch at Maya Villas.  Alon has a short menu out now, but I didn't know this and ordered the hummus, baba ganoush and shawarmas in advance.  Must visit again and try out his burgers.

We started with white wine, then Pale Pilsens - and then this is where my memory gets foggy, but I have pictures on my camera that I do not recall taking.  We ended up at the Christmas party at Palaka Dive Center where I jumped around and danced with the girls while they karaoked.  I vaguely remember eating lechon.  And, judging from my throat this morning, I'm guessing cigarettes were involved.

Watched "South Park" reruns with Liam while I waited for the habal driver to pick me up.

I had a cookie when I got home.

Monday, 23 December

Didn't get to sleep till around 3 AM again and then, because I'm leaving for Cebu in the afternoon, I kept waking up every hour.  Finally gave up trying to sleep at 8 AM to play with the dog.  He knows that I am leaving.  He ignored me the whole week but, this morning, he is unusually needy and overly affectionate.  We'll both be very sad when I leave.

I think I'll have more of the bacon before I start getting ready to leave.  And I might as well finish the last cookie.

I think I'm back on track with my weight, but tomorrow is Christmas Eve and Nicolas will be with me for nine days in Manila and I'm already planning where we are going to eat...

Trying To Get Back To Good In Siargao

I left Siargao last November 18 and returned yesterday.  I only resumed working out again today.  Well, there was that one day in Bagan, in between sunning myself by the hotel pool, that I swam 20 laps.  And then Nicolas and I biked to and from lunch, which wasn't really very far, so I'm not sure if that counts.

In less than a month, I managed to do so much damage to myself - purely from overeating - that I felt like shit and looked it.  I was hardly even drinking or smoking.

I missed working out so much that I seriously had fantasies of doing push-ups, walking lunges and box jumps.  But I was either too busy or too tired - or both - to do anything.  On one flight, I tried to do air squats by the lavatories but it was a small plane and I got curious looks.  In Bangkok, I was looking forward to using the gym at our hotel because, from the photos I had seen, I knew that it had the Technogym personal Kinesis machine and I so wanted to do Kinesis again.  But even with 24-hour access to the gym, the spirit was eager but the flesh needed to sleep.

Today, I finally found the will power to get off my ass and start again.  Even if I got up late and the sun was glaring, I did the following this morning:

• Jogging, 2 km., time:  16:29 minutes
• Biking, 10+ km.

I felt totally elated afterwards.

In the afternoon, I watched a few new Jillian Michaels' workout videos and tried doing Level 1 of "6 Week Six-Pack" and nearly gave up at the warm-up.  I got as far as the burpees and a few of those squat twists before I gave up.  Will try again tomorrow.

I went to the pool instead.

• Swimming, 32 laps (1 km. + 24 m.)

I'm also making an earnest effort at returning to Paleo and intermittent fasting.  I only started yesterday but I'm already feeling better.  Let's see if I can maintain the regimen in the ten days that I am here.

I can't tell you how much I am dreading Christmas in Manila and the usual excesses that come with it.

The Slightly More Sober Week That Was (Part 2)

Monday, 21 October

Nicolas and I had a big breakfast before he left to catch the plane to Cebu and I thought I'd be good and not eat the whole day.  Then I got a text from my friends, Liam Cox and Carl Branson (British owners of the now defunct Drop Inn), asking if I wanted to come over for dinner.  How can I resist when guys offer to cook?  We hadn't seen each other in a while and it was definitely time for a catch-up.  And Ailene did send over a chocolate cake that morning...

Except that my energy levels were really low.  I couldn't work out, but I did swim 30 laps before going over to see the boys.  I stayed for a bit and then went home early.

Tuesday, 22 October

Energy levels back up!

• Walked the dog.
• Shred, Level 2
• Swimming:  30 laps

To make up for my early exit the night before, I offered to bring dinner to the guys, as well as a bottle of Don Papa, my favorite rum.  Had a fun night, drinking and laughing.  We finished Ailene's cake then ordered another one from Aventino's.

(Internet file photo.)

Wednesday, 23 October

• Walked the dog.
• Shred, Level 2
• Swimming:  30 laps

Sober day today.  Went to market to buy fruits and vegetables.

Thursday, 24 October

• Walked the dog.  Tried something new today and walked the dog to the 4 km. marker (- our place is a few meters beyond the 5 km. marker), which means that we walked more than 2 km.  Since I don't trust this dog, I have to keep him on a leash, to make sure he doesn't go wandering off.  But, as I did with Napo, I have to carry a stick to protect him from other dogs, as well as other dogs - and people - from him.
• Shred, Level 2

We had a big girlie despedida (farewell) lunch for Susan.  We started off with a large, strong fruity cocktail at Sagana, before proceeding to Kawayan for lunch.

Since David Frachou (- the Angry French Man of Kawayan Resort) works the kitchen solo, it does take time for orders to come out, but his food is totally worth the wait.  Everything we had was good:  the ceviche (- he followed our advice and ditched the tomatoes he served with it when Nicolas and I were there), the seafood pasta (- I must have this again!), and he made an apple pie to die for!  We ordered two bottles of wine and Elsa mixed up some sangria for all thirteen of us.

Kawayan's ceviche.

Friends from Manila, Candice Lumayno and Gina Gamboa (plus two of their friends), arrived the day before and we met up at Kawayan so that we could all ride over to my place for dinner.

I sometimes forget the effect our house has on people who see it for the first time.  As soon as we pulled up, they started woop-wooping and seemed unsure if they should gawk, pull out their cameras or keep shrieking and, because I was concerned about the tide rising and the sun going down, I was impatient and rushing them with the instruction, "Walk and talk, people, walk and talk."

It was great seeing them again.  We drank beer and swam in the pool until it was time for dinner.  We had fish and crab, and I opened the last bottle of cava to welcome them to Siargao.

The pool.

Friday, 25 October

• Walked the dog.  I walked him out on the road with the intention of going all the way to the 4 km. marker again but Apollo would have none of it.  We had barely gotten past Dedon and Bayud resorts when he started being stubborn.  I thought we should at least make it to the former L&B Resort, but Apollo refused to budge and we had to turn back.
• Shred, Level 2
• Swimming:  30 laps

Candice, Gina and company went to Sohoton during the day and I suspected that the trip would wipe them out, especially since they had been doing a lot of early days and early nights.  They insisted they were up for partying, especially since Candice was leaving on Sunday and she wanted to go to the Friday night jungle disco.  So, at 9 AM, I went to Nine Bar to wait for them.

Sure enough, they started to flake. 

"We're just going out to dinner now.  Text you when we're done."  (She said the same thing about an  hour earlier.)

"Food coma.  Going back for a power nap.  We will catch up with you at the jungle disco."

I was one beer down on my three-beers-a-night thing (- the rule does not apply when at home or other people's homes) and was bummed.  I caught the first habal (motorbike taxi) that passed by and called on Liam and Carl.  Liam was nodding off in the hammock, but Carl brought out the rum I had left with them and drank with me.

 We finished what was left of the bottle.

Past midnight, the girls were awake and ready to roll.  They came by for me but we couldn't fit all of us on the bike so the driver dropped them off first at Tattoo, the jungle disco, then came back for me.

And this is where my memory gets splotchy.

I have vague memories of harassing Remo Lütolf (Swiss Olympian swimmer), dancing wildly with Candice and mock-arguing with Al Solloso, Siargao's resident gay boy.  At around 3 AM, I said my goodbyes and dropped Al home, before heading home myself.

Saturday, 26 October

Three hours later, I was awake.  And Candice was just getting back to their resort.  (She wasn't kidding when she said they'd take a power nap.  They went from zero to fully charged in less than two hours!)

She filled in the blanks of the previous night.  She said that we danced like crazy people, I drank some beer (- so much for the three-drinks-a-night rule), ate some biscuits (?) but that, no, I did not smoke.

While I didn't feel particularly hungover, I did feel rough around the edges and starved like I hadn't eaten in ages.  I ate big, heavy meals the whole day (- I had rice with EVERYTHING) and snacked in between.  I'm chalking it up to PMS and a wannabe-hangover.  Because of the lack of sleep, I was lethargic the whole day and didn't have the energy to work out.

Sunday, 27 October

I got up at 6 AM this morning to go to the market for some meat, chicken and fish.  Made a big breakfast for us when I got back, then went back to sleep.

Now waiting for lunch.  Am excited because it's the first time the maid is preparing paella for us since we sold the resort in 2010.  I have to say that we made the best paella back then and we've been missing it.  While our maid trained with the resort staff before we left, she hasn't had a chance to replicate all the dishes we did then.  Recently, I thought that it's about time to do these dishes again before she forgets them completely.  So far, she's been doing a great job.  Needs a bit of fine tuning but not much.  Today, she's making paella and cured tanguingue (mackarel), two of the best dishes we had before.  I hope she gets them right!

I did Shred, Level 2 this morning.  I can't believe I've already done nine sessions and only have one more to go before I start Level 3.  Noooooooo!!!  I don't want to move up to Level 3!  I've watched a bit of it and am terrified.  I'm not even done being freaked out by Level 2!

Will swim 30 laps before we head out for dinner at Kawayan tonight.  I already pre-ordered the seafood pasta, the pork tagine, and the apple pie.  Can't wait!

Declared by Sagana's Susan Brandstetter to be the best dessert she's ever had on the island. 

***

Summary:  I'm getting fatter.  <groan>

The Slightly More Sober Week That Was

Monday, 14 October

Apparently, during last week's very "messy" Friday night, I had proposed that we all have lunch at Villa Maya on Monday.  The following night, the eager Norwegians and Swedes wanted to know if I already had it organized.  Before my Evil Twin could come rushing in on a Red Horse, I quickly sent a text to owner, Israeli, Alon Dassa, and ordered hummus, baba ghanoush, falafels and shawarmas.  Then I shot an invitation to Susan and, with that, lunch was set.

Villa Maya and Golf Course.

Alon and his Filipina wife, Venus, outdid themselves and prepared a mini feast for us.  (A clear favorite was the fried cauliflower, dipped in hummus or tahini.)  And Elsa mixed a wonderfully refreshing sangria for us to wash it all down with.  By the time the shawarmas were served, we couldn't eat any more and had to take them home.

I was so stuffed that, several hours later, while I attempted to do my 10th and last session of the 30 Day Shred's Level 1, I nearly threw up doing the warm-up jumping jacks and had to abort.  I did 30 laps in the pool and told the maid I would skip dinner.

And then she told me that the carrot cake that I ordered from Ailene had arrived.

I should never be left alone with cake.

I also ended up eating the shawarma cold, and it was still very tasty.

Tuesday, 15 October

At the poker night that I crashed last week, I told Siargao Inn's German owner, Rico (- his Filipino name) Reitenbach, that I had been meaning to check out the new rooms he had built and that I wanted to try the food at his restaurant again.

Siargao Inn's view.  (Photo c/o Eliza-Mari Almazol.)

So, today, the girls joined me for lunch at Siargao Inn.  (These lunches have evolved to girl-only lunches as a slow farewell to Sue before she leaves for Oz next Friday.)  Be advised that the servings here are HUGE, especially if you order the burrito or the empanada.  For a light dessert, try their homemade yogurt with honey.

After yesterday's workout disaster, I made sure to finish Shred, Level 1 in the morning, and did the 30 laps late in the afternoon.  I have now decided that anything less than 30 laps is a waste of time and resigned myself to the fact that it will be dark by the time I finish swimming.  I just have to turn on more lights around the house so that it isn't too gloomy.

Again, I told the maid I wouldn't have any dinner but had about a kilo of fruit and, predictably, more cake.

Wednesday, 16 October

• 30 Day Shred, Level 2 - Goodgod, I hate this workout.  Seriously, how one can go from high-knees to squat thrusts and then do them over again without keeling over from a massive coronary is beyond me.  Don't look at me.  I stop before my arteries can explode.  I sweat so much that it's almost impossible to do the planks at the end of the workout without my feet or hands slipping all over the place.  And I have NINE more of these to go?  <groan>
• Swimming:  30 laps

I worked out in the morning because I had to meet some guests over at Dedon for sunset drinks.

Because I was a guest of a guest there, it meant that I didn't have an all-access pass to alcohol and was thus able to observe the alcoholic in me when denied instant gratification.

As soon as I was done with the first beer, I instinctively wanted another.  My hand frequently went to the empty bottle and I found myself glancing nervously over at the bar a lot, where there was no bartender.  (The manager was with us and she was in charge.)  When someone made a move to get another drink, I immediately piped up that I wanted another one too.

With the second Red Horse, I was a bit more loose.  Behavior and language were still controlled, but only just so.  As soon as I had finished the beer, I was restless again.  And then I realized that, while I really did need another drink, I didn't necessarily need another beer.  I needed another drink because alcohol dehydrates and I was thirsty.

When the thirst became uncomfortable, I said my goodbyes and left, and returned home and had a lot of ice cold water.

Thursday, 17 October

• Shred, Level 2 (before lunch) - Problem solved with the slipping.  I change spots around the room and I place a towel under my hands during the different plank exercises.  I'm still super wussy and alternate between following Natalie (difficult) and Anita (easy).
• Swimming:  30 laps (before dinner)

Lunch at Kalinaw, with a bottle of white shared among five.

Kalinaw.  (Photo c/o Eliza-Mari Almazol)

Evening:  Fred De Backer, one of the French owners of Kalinaw, was DJ-ing at Nine Bar, so I thought I'd show support.

After Friday night's blackout and yesterday's introspection at Dedon, I decided to give moderation another try.  I was only going to allow myself three drinks.

I arrived early and joined Peter and Elsa for dinner (- they ordered some yummy creamy chicken pasta from La Luna), and I held off on the beer until the guests started to arrive.  And then I ordered my first Red Horse and nursed it slowly.

Surprisingly, I was able to stick to just three beers throughout the night.  And what's even more surprising is that I actually had a great time!  I was hanging out with some really cool gay boys from Manila and we stomped around and danced like madmen and laughed like banshees.  I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time.

Of course, as I was settling the bill at the bar, Joie, Fred's Filipina partner, cornered me and wouldn't hear of my turning down a shot since it was after midnight and it was officially her birthday.  How could I say no?  I had one tequila shot with her - and things could have taken a turn for the worse had I not run right smack into My Least Favorite Person In The Universe.  Talk about an unlikely Deus Ex Machina.  I took that as my cue to exit stage left.

MODERATION ACHIEVED.  Ohmy.  I refuse to think of the implications.  

Friday, 18 October

• Shred, Level 2 - This seems to be a good day.  I only followed Natalie (difficult) and did almost all the reps, except for those chair squats with V-raises.  I LOATHE those.  I only do about 16 squats and then I most definitely do not raise my arms to eye level, and then, for the rest of the count, I skip the squats and just do the V-raises.  How those women manage to do this workout without looking like a total wreck after, I do not know.  But I am considering upping my weights next time to the three-kilo dumbbells for the static lunges with medium-grip rows and the pendulum lunges with hammer curls.  
• Swimming:  30 laps

While Nicolas brought over my groceries from Cebu, he left everything else in the freezer back at the apartment!  Well, just the Chinese dumplings and the Reese's peanut butter cups.  There was no baklava on account of there being no filo pastry available in Cebu last week.  Fingers crossed that everything makes it to the island next Friday.

It was Joie's birthday party and Sue was very happy to hear that I am now managing my alcohol intake.  Of course, when she poured me some wine and only filled my glass halfway, I objected.  I took the bottle and filled the glass to the brim.  I may be only having three drinks but, dammit, they're going to be three FULL drinks.  She was so happy with my control that, before I left, she poured me another one for the road.

I went home and finished what was left of the cake.

By the way, before the party, Nicolas and I grabbed a quick bite to eat at Kawayan and we totally recommend the ceviche starter. 

Saturday, 19 October

I couldn't sleep last night.

Finally, at 5 AM, I popped one of those pills that Sue gave me a few months ago.  Her guests had left them behind and they told her they were over-the-counter drugs (SleepWell) and were very mild.  I must have eventually dozed off but then I had difficulty waking up.  I was groggy and pretty much drifted in and out of sleep the whole day and night.  Needless to say, I had zero energy for exercise.

Sunday, 20 October

Energy levels almost back to normal.

• Shred, Level 2 - I spoke too soon.  Today was like my first day back at Level 2.  I couldn't finish the reps and was gasping for air most of the time.  I don't think I should be upping my weights yet.
• Swimming:  30 laps

Summary:

Still not dieting.  Lost maybe half a kilo after that night of frenzied dancing, but I'm sure it's all back now.  Alcohol intake, managed.  Smoking, possibly managed.  (Since I quit last October 1, I must have smoked during Bones' closing party, at poker night and the Friday Night I Can't Remember, but I can't be sure.)  I only walked the dog once this week (last Tuesday), for which I have no excuse.

I think I will go into hibernation as soon as Sue leaves.  I really need to be more serious about losing weight.  I'm getting tired of the fat look.

The Debauched Week That Was (Part 2)

Tuesday, 8 October

• Walked the dog.  Yes, I am now counting this as exercise.

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming:  30 laps

I crashed the guys' poker night at Kawayan.  It was supposed to be my big experiment on "drinking moderately" and I got to figuring out that about three Red Horses, nursed throughout the night, would be just about right.  And then I proceeded to drink double that.  Stopped for more beer at 101.

Wednesday, 9 October

Got up at 5:30 AM to go to the market.  Yes, I am doing this now.  This is my attempt at "responsibility".  Let's jusy say that I now have three freezers full of meat and seafood and that I won't have to go to the market at 5:30 AM again for a while.  (The meat is freshest around that time since they usually butcher a pig around 5 AM everyday.)

Then, I biked to Driftwood for lunch.  It was the first time I crossed over the Kilometer 0 marker in General Luna going towards Cloud 9 by myself!  (Mommy, mommy, looky!)  I was so proud!

It was also the first time in a long while that I biked without any music on and I realized a few things:  (1) that my cheap-ass bike makes quite a racket and (2) so do I.  It's actually quiet out on the road when you're not on a motorbike, or on a bicycle singing at the top of your lungs.  And maybe yelling "good morning" at everyone I pass might be jarring for the old folk.  Sigh...  Sometimes ignorance is truly bliss.

Driftwood is under new management (and, as of last week, has changed its name to The Curry Pot - revised 21 Oct. 2013).  It offers all-day breakfasts, and deli meats that you can have in subs or toasts.  I had a sub, which was just okay.  It would have been better if they had grilled the bread and melted the cheese.  I only found out later that I should have ordered toast instead.  (Duh.)

It's a weird sort of joint because it's a small space with only one big table.  We were the only guests at that time and the serving girls and the owners were hanging around and, of course, they could hear all of our conversations, and we were three girls girl-talking and catching up.  We weren't too comfortable with that.

Before I left, I joined the girls for coffee.  Big mistake.  I felt worse than if I had a hangover.  I collapsed in bed and tried not to die.

 

Thursday, 10 October

• Walked the dog.  I learned today that when walking one's dog in a short dress on a windy day, one risks broadcasting one's bottom to the world in pursuit of a wayward hat.

(Internet file photo.)

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1

Friday, 11 October

• Walked the dog.
• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Kettlebell swings:  3 sets x 20 reps
• Swimming:  20 laps

You do know that all that activity was in anticipation of a massive hangover the next day, right?

Saturday, 12 October

I woke up at around 8:30 AM.

Last night, I had dinner at Nine Bar with the owners, Swedish couple, Peter and Elsa, and tried their Indonesian specials by their new Indonesian cook.  I had about three glasses of wine.  And then the Norwegians showed up.  They ordered a pitcher of some nasty concoction and started pouring shots.  The DJ started to play...

And that's all I remember.  I had no idea what time I had left, how I had gotten home...  I panicked and texted people.  Of course, no one was up at 8:30 AM.  So I went down the check list:

• Body - A few nicks and cuts on the legs, but nothing too weird.
• Phone - No drunken texts or calls.  No calls to the habal (motorbike taxi) driver too, so I still didn't know how I got home.
• Computer - No drunken posts.

So far, so good.

My clothes were in the hamper.  The shoes though were strewn all over the place.  I had a lot less money, which meant that I must have paid my bills.  I had also let the dog in so maybe I wasn't that much of a basket case when I got home.

By 10:30 AM, I got my first text.  Apparently, I had gone off with Nine Bar's DJ after his set to the jungle disco, where I ordered more drinks but kept dropping them.  He said he didn't see me leave.  He gave me a new nickname:  Messy Beaucoup.

I had the maid make me some vegetable soup and crawled back into bed.

Then I got a text from Elsa.  Was I coming to lunch?  Holy shit!  I made lunch plans?  On a weekend?!  What a bloody amateur!  Someone's birthday party and I didn't even know whose.  I commandeered a habal and made it to General Luna in record time.

It would turn out that the birthday lunch (for the Indonesian cook's daughter) wouldn't be ready till "oh, three or five.  Not now.  Too hot."  Peter, Elsa and I walked over next door to Driftwood.  The toast was definitely much better than the sub but I still would have liked the bread more toasted and the cheese melted.

This time, the serving girls were in uniform.  I don't think they had them on before or I would have noticed, and I am quite notorious for not noticing things, but these uniforms were kinda hard to miss.  They were wearing what looked like school uniforms with short red skirts and black see-through thigh-high stockings.  Without any shoes.  It was just wrong on so many levels.  Especially in the day time heat!

I went back home late in the afternoon, hoping to catch some z's before heading back out again for dinner, but that didn't happen.

I swam 20 laps. 

I went out again with the Swedes and the Norwegians.  Some wild wind had kicked up quite a fuss earlier and the power was on and off.  In the blackout, we tried to find a place to eat.  Kalinaw was fully booked.  The generator at Kawayan was down and David didn't want to accept orders until the power came back on.  Sagana couldn't accommodate us.  So we headed back to Nine Bar for the same Indonesian fare we had the night before.

The Norwegians filled in what they could of the previous night for me.  They said they had ordered two pitchers of the shots we were doing.  They said Jagermeisters were also involved.  (No!  That means Bianca Jager was out and she's the nastiest Evil Twin of all!)  They followed to the jungle disco, but didn't see me there.  They were pretty messed up too.  They didn't get up till 3 PM that day.

On my way back from a trip to the loo, I ran into the Indonesian cook.  I almost didn't recognize her, all dolled up.

"Why you don't come to my dinner?"

"Because I thought it was lunch and I already had dinner plans."

"I still have siomai."

"Okay."

"You come to my house and taste."

"I'm really quite full, thank you.  I just ate your food upstairs.  It was very good."

"Come on, you try."

So that's how I ended up at the Indonesian cook's house (which was right behind Nine Bar) and met her Australian husband and two children, and her maid who insisted that I try the buko (coconut) salad.

When I got back to the dinner, the Norwegians were already settling their bills.  They wanted to be ready for the surf the next day.

It was a quiet night at the bar, so I kept Peter company until midnight.

Sunday, 13 October

I thought I had made it home without the appearance of any of the Evil Twins.  Until I got up to search for my phone.  It wasn't anywhere.  I would have tried to call it except that it's on "Do Not Disturb" mode from 11 PM to 10 AM.  I must have blacked out when I got home.  My money was strewn all over the place.  I peeked outside.  Sure enough, there it was.  Lying face down on the grass.  (Thank god for the Life Proof casing!)  It must have fallen out while I was paying the habal driver.  It's a good thing it didn't get squashed by the motorbike.  Or get stolen.

I lay in bed, hungry.  It was a Sunday and all was quiet at the staff house.  I had a very specific craving for arroz ala cubana.  When the maid got back from Church, I asked her to defrost some meat.

While I was cooking, I got a text from Peter and Elsa.  Could they come over for lunch?  They could bring pizza.  Sure, why not?  I was cooking enough for six anyway.  I opened a bottle of cava to celebrate the day.

By the time they had gone, the heat had zapped my energy.  All I wanted to do was sleep.  But I weighed myself again and I hadn't lost a single kilo.  I forced myself to work out.

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming:  30 laps

I really should stop drinking.

The Debauched Week That Was

Sunday, 29 Sept.

I arrived back in Siargao in time for the Awards Night of the surfing competiton.  I must have had about a dozen Red Horses.  Caught up with a lot of guys I hadn't seen in a while and danced with Sue.  Nicolas sat outside one of the barbecue stalls, patiently waiting for me with the dog, so I didn't make too much of a late night out of it.

Monday, 30 Sept.

Breaking Bad's finale.  Some friends cooked chili and I brought over dessert, a chilled bottle of cava,and a bottle of red for good measure.

Tuesday, 1 Oct.

Starting again.  Finally, an attempt to shed the three kilos I gained in Manila.  Green smoothies, a Paleo dinner.  And an earnest attempt at giving up smoking.

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming:  20 laps

Wednesday, 2 Oct.

I invited some friends over for lunch and opened a bottle of white, which I ended up consuming myself.

Was in no condition to be jumping around.

I took a disco nap, then headed to Sagana for a tataki dinner, and drinks at Bones' Sports Bar where, in the course of the evening and more than a few Horses, I had a box of pizza and a whole cake delivered.  I deposited the remains of the cake with friends on my way home.

Thursday, 3 Oct.

Had Sue and the surf comp. judges over for crepes.

Still lazy.  Only did the 30 Day Shred.

No smokes, despite being around smokers in the evening.

Friday, 4 Oct.

Ditto.  30 Day Shred.  Still no swimming.  Had a massage after dinner.

Saturday, 5 Oct.

Big burst of energy today.  This, of course, is in anticipation of Bones' closing party on Sunday and the big hangover on Monday.

Morning:

• 10 km+ bike ride
• 3 sets of 20 kettlebell swings

Afternoon:

• 30 Day Shred
• Swimming:  20 laps

Sunday, 6 Oct.

Gearing up for tonight.  

Morning:

• 10 km+ bike ride
• 3 sets of 20 kettlebell swings

Afternoon:

• 30 Day Shred
• Swimming:  20 laps

I made arrangements to head over to Bones' at 6:30, and then Nicolas and I got invited to dinner over at Dedon.  How could I resist?  Dinner turned out to be just cocktails and I was hammered by the time I left at around 9:30.  Wreaked havoc over at Bones' till sunrise.

Monday, 7 Oct.

As predicted.  I was dead or dying.

I have no idea what time I got home but I was up at 8:30, having breakfast with a very angry Nicolas.  Apparently, I had skipped out on him and the Dedon cocktails with the key to our room and he was locked out for the night and very unhappy with me.

After he left to catch the flight to Cebu, I lay in bed the whole day and night, only getting up to eat and go to the toilet.

Oh, I did manage to walk the dog.  I tossed a toy for him to catch in the water, but he wasn't that into it and, frankly, neither was I.  So we walked along the beack towards Union and then back on the road.  That should count for something.

Checked my weight.  I haven't made a dent.

For breakfast, I had Spam, eggs and fried rice.  For dinner, I had a bowl of bulalo delivered to the house, which I had the maid recook with potatoes and vegetables.  The bulalo lady said that the portion was for three people.  Yeah, right.  Maybe three vegetarians.  I ate it all with a big bowl of rice.  Yes, I had a lot of rice today.  Needed it to soak up the alcohol.

On the plus side, I came back with everything in my bag intact, although my hip flask was yawning wide open and empty.  When I left the night before, it was full of Stolichnaya Blue, which is 100% proof vodka.

<flashbacks of vodka-Red Bulls>

I texted Bones to ask what I owed him and he sent back crazy messages about how I owed him a gazillion pesos.  I checked my money.  I had obviously paid the bar bill because I only had P40 left.

I recall having a drag of a cigarette last night but, from the state my throat is in, I suspect I may have smoked more than that.  Nooooooo!

I am still a non-smoker.  I am a non-smoker, I am a non-smoker, I am a non-smoker...

Some guys rang up in the afternoon.  Bones' Bar wasn't closed yet.  Did I want to join them for a few drinks?  I didn't think I could part with my bed, the air-conditioning and the toilet at that point.

Will start again tomorrow.

Drinking, that is.  (I'm kidding.  But you never know with me, right?)

The Week in Slacking Off

Well, I've rendered myself unable to exercise yet again.  Another injury courtesy of too many Red Horses.

I went to the opening of Tiki last night.  It's a new (Swedish-owned) resort in General Luna, here in Siargao.  And then I hung out at Nine Bar afterwards for acoustic night.

I must have knocked my right knee - very hard - against something after I got home.  What it was, I cannot say because I haven't the foggiest notion.

But jumping jacks and lunges are definitely not happening today.  Hopefully, I can still swim.  Will get into the pool at noon and try to do my laps.

I did discover an excellent place to eat after drinking though.  Apparently, there's a place on the boulevard that serves bulalo.  According to the woman running the joint last night, they only opened a few months ago.  Bulalo is a soup of boiled beef shanks and marrow bones.  There's a lot of tendon and fat action going on.  In other words, I love it!  And the only way to eat it is with a lot of rice.  We had two big steaming bowls last night.  I would love two more big steaming bowls this morning.  Please...

But Sue is coming over for lunch and I got invited to a very early dinner later on this afternoon by my not-so-new neighbor across the river (whom I finally had the pleasure of meeting last night).  It will be a full day of eating.

And not enough exercise.

This is what I did this week.  I have obviously become lazier.

Friday, Sept. 13

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Kettlebell swings
• Swimming:  20 laps

Saturday, Sept 14

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Kettlebell swings
• Swimming:  20 laps

Sunday, Sept 15

• Fuckall.

Monday, Sept 16

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming:  30 laps

Tuesday, Sept 17

• Swimming:  30 laps

Wednesday, Sept 18

• 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming:  30 laps

Thursday, Sept 19

• Swimming - ???

Will update this later, after my noontime pool attempt.

*** 

I managed 23 laps before the workers started trickling back from their lunch break.  I couldn't do the breast stroke because my knee wasn't too happy doing the frog kicks, so I just did the crawl since all of the leg action on that is from the hips. 

She's Having a Cheat Year

I heard my first Christmas carol whilst sitting at the HMO's waiting room in Cebu last week.

That was creepy.

While it is true that all songs by Jose Marie Chan creep me out, isn't it March?  How can we be half way through September when it was January only a few months ago?  What happened to June and July???

<cue creepy music from "The Twilight Zone">

 

Hmm...  Well, with the realization that the last quarter of the year is nigh upon us (and I haven't given a thought to Christmas, let alone Christmas shopping), comes the added realization that I have successfully strung together a continuous link of Cheat Days to a form a - gasp!  A Cheat Year.  Goodfreakingod.  Surely, there must be a prize for that kind of a fuck-up.

Er... Is there a rewind on this thing?  I kinda missed the middle part of the year.  Wasn't paying attention.  ...  Could I please speak to the manager?  I'd like to do it over again, please.

Of course, I know that had I not feasted like a doped up famine victim let loose on a buffet table the whole year, I might have achieved my fitness (read: vanity) goals by now. Because, even if I have been eating my weight in sugar, I'm actually in better shape now than I was when I was just skinny.  Or so I'd like to think.  Had I behaved even half the time I was messing about...  Ack!  I don't want to think about it.

Because, no, I couldn't possibly be content with just one or two servings of ice cream, could I?  I'll take the whole tub, thankyouverymuch.  Surely, I can do better than half a pizza!  Let's make that a whole large-sized pepperoni thin crust - with extra cheese, please.  Wine?  I only drink by the bottle.  No half measures here.  I only do things to excess.

Since I've been back in Siargao, however, which was only two days ago, I've cut out rice, bread and pasta, but have still had potatoes and sweets (- more on that later); but I finally resumed working out and already lost the two kilos that I gained in Cebu.  (Yes, I went nuts during the four days that I was there, but bear in mind that I also had zero exercise for ten days.)

One of my favorite lines from "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" was spoken by the 36-year old prostitute, Ybón:  When you're sixteen a body like this is free; when you're forty - pffft! - it's a full time occupation!

I credit Jillian Michaels' workout videos for keeping me from turning into a blimp.  Well, that and the swimming.  I'm not too sure if the kettlebell swings help but I like to think that I'm achieving something (even if it is close to nothing) by lifting anything heavier than three-kilos.

Someone sent this message to my Facebook inbox recently regarding Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred:

"She's tough, but you can see results very fast.  I started with her DVD four months after I had my baby, then stopped after two weeks because of my knees and jumping jacks.  Then I started again without the jumping jacks, and I could really see and feel the difference in the stomach area."

I must say that I had my doubts when I started but, now, while I am dreading what Level 3 might be like, I'm more than curious to see what 30 days under Jillian Michaels' tutelage will reap.

Except that I can't seem to get there, can I?  There's always something...  If I'm not traveling somewhere, I'm getting sick.  Or getting sidetracked by beer and hangovers.

I've restarted Level 1 but, since I am leaving for Manila for nine days this Friday, I'm just doing it for the sake of doing something.  But if I can put in a good effort even while I'm away, maybe I can finally level up when I get back to Siargao.  I wouldn't put any money on it, but who knows?

I wish I could tell you that I'm wising up and putting an end to my mad feeding frenzy, but I have several dinners already lined up in Manila that promise to be epic.  I've also ordered stuff from Dial K for Kitchen (- their ultra-buttery polvoron) and Aleth's Kitchen (- I've heard good things about her chocolate chip cookies and ordered an assorted bag for myself), and I must confess that I am currently contemplating calling out for cake here in Siargao.

Maybe when I get back from Manila? 

***

I went to four groceries in Cebu to try to find those dark and white chocolate-dipped dried mangoes by R&M but couldn't find them anywhere but the airport.  What I did find was Philippine Brand's dark chocolate version.  They come in small 65 g. packs, but they're not bad at all.  They're actually quite good.  And if I don't find them in Manila, I'm going to have to get the maid in Cebu to buy me a few packs to send through Nicolas for when I return to Siargao.

Or not.

Har.

Another find, again at District 32 at the Mactan Airport, is  Homemade Sweets' baclava (0917-633-6733).  I was swooning while eating it at the airport.  I just texted that number and it turned out to be attached to somebody already on my contact list.  If the world is small, Cebu is even smaller.  I must congratulate her on her baclavas and order a few tubs.

Or, again, not.

I am such a fake.